Journey to Bath, Chats with friends, 2 QATWII blocks, the Third Block, Packing

I'm headed back to Bath tomorrow! I'm looking forward to getting back very much. I've missed all the girls, and my church, and my life, really. I can't wait to go back and see the girls from 4DU (4 doors up), and catch up on their lives. I want to get back to my room, and sort all my stuff from my backpacks out. I want to really get my teeth into 2013, and it's felt so far like I'm holding back, waiting until I'm independent again. Tomorrow I have a long journey from Manchester to Bristol - 5 hours - and then I'll need to catch a train to Bath, and then a bus home. I have my new book from the wife to occupy me, so I should get through a lot of that. Knowing me, I'll probably sleep a lot as well. I fall asleep on transport really easily, which is always a source of great amusement to friends.

One of the 4DU girls has been quite down over Christmas. I think she's finding life hard to balance between Bath and her home. She doesn't feel able to just be herself at home without being judged; and she's missing a friend terribly who moved back to South Africa halfway through December. But I think the real problem is that she got to be so happy with the South African boy, because he made her feel like she was worth something. And normally I think she secretly has really low self-esteem and self-worth. So now that he's gone, she's back to feeling like that. And the way she feels judged at home - not by family, but by friends - just makes it worse. I'm looking forward to seeing her and chatting. I hope I can help. I love her very dearly, and I want her to be happy.

In the meantime, I've made 2 of the QATWII blocks I needed to make, and I have one left. I know what I'm doing, it's just a matter of cutting the pieces and sewing them together. here are the 2 I've done:

This one asked for bright, spring/summer colours, a white background and some kind of star preferably. I used this pattern tutorial from Crazy mom quilts. I changed the way the colours go, though, so that it looked really sunny and starry and... I dunno, I preferred it this way!






And then the second one:

Sorry - not a great picture, I know! This one I created myself. They asked for colours in the range used in their own starting square, and geometric blocks. At some point I will put up the measurements and some pictures of how this one goes together - it's really simple actually. Lining up the diagonals felt scary but turned out to be really easy-peasy!


So those are the 2 I've done, so I have one more to do. It's based on a block pattern I saw on Quilter's Cache, but I've scaled it up to the right size. I know which fabrics I'm using and where, so I really do just need to cut them out and sew them! Pictures will follow at some point.

I have to get back to packing now. I'm really tired, but I know I'll run out of time tomorrow if I'm not careful. So the next time I post I will be in Bath!

Love love xx

Friday, other people's problems, walking and baking, recipe, visiting, new teeth, Fill In The Blank Friday

It's Friday. I was meant to be doing fun things with my very screwy friend, BM. But she cancelled on me by saying that she 'thought it was next Friday' I had suggested. I smell bull. Because when I say 'shall we do something next Friday' on a Monday I'm talking about the next Friday, not the one after that. But I'd never really expected her to do anything but come up with a reason why she couldn't meet up today. And if I'm really honest, I wasn't particularly in the mood for doing anything with her either considering how she's been recently. I know it's selfish of me - she has depression, and so can't help being how she is, really - but I'm just a bit worn down by other people's problems right now. There are so many people coming to me with their problems and inability to cope. And whilst I'm glad people feel they can do that, I can only take so much.

On the other hand, I went for a good long walk today, through the fields and across the train track and along the field paths beyond it. I saw many trains, and waved to one. The driver waved back as well! And then I came back and baked cookies and made another batch mix ready for when the trays come out of the oven. So I'm going to put that batch in soon and make another batch, and then I'll have done all the cookies I'm doing. It's a really simple recipe, from the Good Housekeeping Cook Book, but I vary what I add to the basic mix. Their basic mix is for chocolate chip and walnut. I don't think I've ever added chocolate chips or walnut to it. I have, however, added pecans, macadamias, hazelnuts, cranberries and cherries in various combinations. Here's the recipe:

3 oz butter
3 oz white sugar
3 oz brown sugar
drop of vanilla/almond essence
1 egg
6 oz self-raising flour
pinch of salt
4 oz whatever you're adding.

Cream butter and sugars. Add essence and egg and mix. Add everything else and mix. spoon onto baking sheets and cook for about 15 minutes at 180 c or gas mark 4. Eat them all. Start again.

See? Simple! Once I have done my third batch of these cookies I will pack for going to my sister's tomorrow. I'm just a little bit very excited! I haven't been up there in ages, so it should be really nice. I need to decided what knitting project I want to start, and she'll help sort me out with yarn and needles. And we're going to go and see the new Muppet film on Sunday, which should be lovely - I haven't been to the cinema in ages, either. My life is so sad! But I am really looking forward to seeing my sister.

Next week, can I just say, is so exciting for me! I finally will have my new teeth fitted!! as in permanently! Having worn a denture for a year, I am so excited to be getting rid of it for 3 new teeth. Yesterday I had them checked at their halfway stage of making, so they were matte and didn't look like real teeth yet. But the dentist was able to check the colour-match, shape, size and fit of them. The new teeth are made of two sort of screw-in centres which are hollow and pale white. The teeth will, I think be glued onto these. But when the dentist was screwing the centres in it was really painful, because they're flared to give a more natural look; and the 2 holes that have been made and formed and maintained by healing caps are narrow and cylindrical. So the dentist didn't screw them all the way in; and she changed my healing caps for some which were marginally bigger and flared to reduce discomfort when the teeth are fitted fully next week.

Finally, today is Friday! Here are my Blanks:

My favourite room in my home is the bathroom. It is the one place where you can have absolute peace - and where you deserve peace! With the job I do, I often find I can't even get a few minutes' peace to wee in the day. So the 10-20 minutes in the shower every morning is absolute bliss to me.

My current decor style is only based on my own bedroom. But light and breezy, I would say. Lots of white!

I wish I could redecorate the kitchen in my house to make it more interesting. My parents have very bland, safe taste; and I like to experiment a bit more with colour!

My dream house absolutely has to have a lot of quirks, like reading nooks and a door hidden behind bookcases and a swing sofa.

One house item I am willing to splurge on is doors and window frames. Weird, I know - but all too often they look shabby or mismatched to the house or just plain grubby.

A decor trend I just don't get is bunting to decorate random bits of house. I just can't see a point to it?

So! That's this week's. I hear cookies calling me; and I have some letters I need to write as well, so I'm going to stop here for now.

Love love xx   

brief update, Fill in the Blank Friday, chlminding, the wife, baby games, a crazy long essay on why I wouldn't have a baby right now.

I'm tired. Not ill any more, but tired. It's been a long week. My grandpa's been in and out of hospital a coupla times - once for scheduled surgery, and then again via A & E - the wife's been down, I've had work, and one of my friends is playing a dangerous game.

I will update you on all of that, but not yet, because this is my Fill in the Blank Friday:

1. The love of my life is not here yet. I don't know them yet. Although I do love my family incredibly much, and the wife as well. It would be fair to call her the love of my life, but it would be a different kind of love to the one meant here.

2. Falling in love is scary and dangerous and exciting and fun and not what life with a partner is about as far as I know. Falling in love is the really fun bit at the start before you get used to them. The real challenge for life is enjoying being with them for the rest of your lives and getting through the tough bits and the boring bits.

3. Marriage is important to me. I find it to be very significant, and not something I would consider lightly. My mum always told me that when she agreed to marry my dad, she did mean forever absolutely seriously. And I would want to as well.

4. The longest relationship I've ever had was not very long in the grand scheme of things. But then of what relationships I have had, I've never bothered to time them, really. I was too busy enjoying spending time with the person.

5. The key to a good relationship is communication, honesty and trust. People in a relationship need to talk to each other. Honestly! About the things that are bothering them, or any issues they feel can be put right. And they need to trust each other, too, that they are both being honest about what they need to know.

6. I feel loved when people remember me. When they do those little things that show they care, like sending me the link to a video that made them think of me. Or even just a text where they ask if I've had a nice day, without me having to text them first necessarily.

7. My favourite quote about love is non-existent. As soon as I read this my mind blanked on any quotes that contained the word 'love'. The only one I can remember is from Twelfth Night - 'If music be the food of love, play on. Give me excess of it-' It doesn't have any significant message for people, and it doesn't even make so very much sense out of context. But nothing else springs to mind; and even if it did, it would probably be corny.


Sot hat's this Friday's Fill in the Blank. And to recap the week... I worked, as per. BB seemed strangely ill yesterday - I mean, rather than it being an obvious illness, or her putting it on, she suddenly turned quiet and couldn't focus on playing because of a pain on her tummy. Normally she's easily distracted even if she is ill. But this time just seemed different. And I wasn't sure what to do. So I ended up ringing the parents, and her mum spoke to her on the phone (good phone skills for a 2-year old!) and suggested that it could be eczema  on her belly which she occasionally got. So we rubbed some cream on it and that kept her going until her mum got home from work.

The wife was down last weekend. She's majorly busy now with assignments and people visiting her, so she wanted to get one last drop in at home before she was too busy. It was lovely to see her, mainly because she's the one friend I have who always remembers me. Most, if not all, of the others don't really care about staying in contact that much, and I'm always the one having to make the effort. And that leaves me feeling very lonely and isolated sometimes. But the wife didn't even stop in at her own home on the way down. She just came straight to see me. And that let us have a catch-up and a giggle. And then we ate supper at hers the following night with another friend, BM. we didn't stay the night at hers, as she was leaving again the next day so it was a little hectic for her. I really hate saying goodbye. I know it's not forever, I know she's back down over Easter. But it is hard to say goodbye to someone you're close to - and someone to whom you're close because they care and make an effort where others don't.

I was meant to be seeing BM again on Wednesday evening, but she cancelled because she wasn't pregnant and was miserable about it. She's the friend who's playing a dangerous game. There are positives to having babies and children, I know that. They are a joy, and they will teach you a lot about the world and other people. But there are also a lot of sacrifices to be made if she is determined to go down this route. Ultimately I can't stop her trying, and it's clear she wants a baby very much. If she gets pregnant, I will of course support her as much as I can and as much as she needs me. But I also wonder if it wouldn't be better if she didn't get pregnant right now, but focused and prepared for an interview she has for university studying nursing, which is what she wants to do. She still doesn't know if she's going to India this September, but if I were her I would look into that too, as a possibility. But I'm not her. And she has to do what is right for her. All I can do is pick up the pieces at a time like this when she's miserable about not being pregnant, and support her in the path she takes her life down. It isn't easy.

I can't write any more. My brain is too full right now.

Love love xx