Jam, picnics and cake, frogs to kiss, and a busy life...!

Ready for a catchup?! Here's what I've been up to of late...

 I made jam - plum jam, to be specific. I love plum jam, especially in PB & J's!












 The weather has been, at times, glorious! This was an amazing picnic we had as a house, with cake and biscuits and sunshine...!










 I made this cake for my housemate's birthday. It's a classic victoria sponge, with whipped cream and jam in the middle... mmmmn! Nothing quite beats a cake like that for the sunny weather!








 And I spent a weekend in Sherwood Forest, chilling out. I saw lots of these little guys, and rescued a few from the middle of roads so that they wouldn't get trodden on.




Other than that, I've spent a lot of time doing work for Nanny College. We have had many deadlines, and lots of preparations to make ready for job hunting in a couple of months. I handed in my last piece of work on Monday, and have been catching up on sleep ever since! I almost don't know what to do with myself now that I have some time off. But only almost! I'm headed back to my parents' in two days for a week or so, so I have to pack, and clean my bedroom here in Bath. I also have to clean the kitchen, as it's my job on the rota this week. I also want to do a little sewing - not much, but I want to make a block tonight! We'll see though. Tomorrow I'm meeting a friend for coffee - how I've missed my Niminy Cricket! I can't wait to see her tomorrow morning. And in the afternoon I'm visiting another friend. so I don't have much time left before I'm headed back to Manchester to do the cleaning needed... Who wanted a quiet life, anyway?!

I also received my bridesmaid dress for my best friend's wedding, so at some point I will post photos of it - once it's properly fitted to me, anyway!

Speak again soon.

Love love xx

2 month disappearing act, Summer, Newport and Swansea complete with pictures of an air show and a baby buried in sand - but only up to his waist, plans for the day

Hey. I know, I've been missing for 2 months. I'm sorry. Life got stressful, and I got frustrated at my inability to both take pictures, and to get blogger to upload them. But then I bought a camera last week, so hopefully all frustration is gone! And don't worry, parents, it was a very cheap camera, and I spent some of my babysitting money to buy it, so I'm not frittering your money away!

I've finished Nanny College for the Summer - yay! I officially have 2 months before I start back! 2 months all to myself... except for the childminding and babysitting I'm doing; but I love doing it, so it isn't really work.

I spent the weekend in Newport, visiting a friend with her baby, her brother and his missus. I was only initially meant to be going for the Friday afternoon and evening, but it turned into the weekend, and I loved it. My friend, Mandibles, and I took her little one swimming on the Saturday - Bilbo loves the water, and even goes underwater without being fazed. He's almost 8 months, and is pretty unfazed by most things! And on Sunday we all went to Swansea beach and saw the Annual Air Show, including the Red Arrows. It was seriously impressive, and I would recommend anyone to go and see one of their shows:

 One of their close formations - they have enough for 5 minutes of white steam, and 1 minute each of blue and red. They used it really effectively!

They did a load of passes close to each other like this - in this one they filtered through each other.

I think they called this a gyppo? Not sure of spelling, and I don't know why it had that name.

They drew a heart in the sky!

And here you can see just how close they got - I think they said they fly within 5 and 8 feet  of each other - terrifying, but so impressive!

 Me (to mandible's brother): What if we buried Bilbo in the sand-
Brother: You can't do that! Bury him? What kind of nanny are you?
Me: Up to his waist! What if we buried Bilbo up to his waist in the sand and left him like that for Mandibles to find?

The result = sand in the nappy! Mandibles wasn't bothered, and neither was Bilbo judging by the smiles on his face! It was his first time on a beach, so very interesting for him.








So I got back Sunday evening, and yesterday woke up with eyeballs which ached when I moved them. Mammafairy says I probably have another virus. Boo. I've had endless amounts of them this term, barely recovering from one before I catch another. I'm starting to wonder if my immune system has gone on holiday without me. But I'm okay, it doesn't leave me feeling seriously deathly, it's more just an annoyance.

I have a cat to feed, plants to water, washing to put out, 2 fish to check on, and babysitting to go to this afternoon. So I'm going to stop now. But next time I will tell you the slightly traumatising story of the dead fish. It's okay though, it has a moral at the end. Sort of.

Love love xx

Here I am, Social networking-free february, Plans

Well, here I am! Halfway through March, taking a photo everyday, back on social networking... and on my way up to Nottingham to go to the Momentum Weekend away! To say I'm excited is an understatement - I am over the moon! It's been a long, quick week, and I've had 2 assignments to do and hand in. But I've finished them, they're in, I can relax now and look forward to going back to Manchester in a week!

So I took February off from social networking. At first, this was really tough, as I didn't know what to do with myself without having blog posts to read, and pins to pin on pinterest. But after a couple of weeks, I discovered something amazing. I started reading again! I hadn't really read any books in a long time, but in the rest of February I must have read a library of books! I read lots of new books too, books that I should have read a long time ago but never did, like Pride and Prejudice, and Sense and Sensibility. I wrote some letters, and tidies my room, and baked. I didn't realise just how much time I waste on social networking until I suddenly had the time back to do other things with.

So I'm going for a weekend of fun with other Christians. I will be back on Monday, for four more days before I can go back and see my pussy cat, and my mamma, and the wife, and my friend and her gorgeous baby.

Next time I post I will put up my daily photos so far. Until then - !

Love love xx

Journey to Bath, Chats with friends, 2 QATWII blocks, the Third Block, Packing

I'm headed back to Bath tomorrow! I'm looking forward to getting back very much. I've missed all the girls, and my church, and my life, really. I can't wait to go back and see the girls from 4DU (4 doors up), and catch up on their lives. I want to get back to my room, and sort all my stuff from my backpacks out. I want to really get my teeth into 2013, and it's felt so far like I'm holding back, waiting until I'm independent again. Tomorrow I have a long journey from Manchester to Bristol - 5 hours - and then I'll need to catch a train to Bath, and then a bus home. I have my new book from the wife to occupy me, so I should get through a lot of that. Knowing me, I'll probably sleep a lot as well. I fall asleep on transport really easily, which is always a source of great amusement to friends.

One of the 4DU girls has been quite down over Christmas. I think she's finding life hard to balance between Bath and her home. She doesn't feel able to just be herself at home without being judged; and she's missing a friend terribly who moved back to South Africa halfway through December. But I think the real problem is that she got to be so happy with the South African boy, because he made her feel like she was worth something. And normally I think she secretly has really low self-esteem and self-worth. So now that he's gone, she's back to feeling like that. And the way she feels judged at home - not by family, but by friends - just makes it worse. I'm looking forward to seeing her and chatting. I hope I can help. I love her very dearly, and I want her to be happy.

In the meantime, I've made 2 of the QATWII blocks I needed to make, and I have one left. I know what I'm doing, it's just a matter of cutting the pieces and sewing them together. here are the 2 I've done:

This one asked for bright, spring/summer colours, a white background and some kind of star preferably. I used this pattern tutorial from Crazy mom quilts. I changed the way the colours go, though, so that it looked really sunny and starry and... I dunno, I preferred it this way!






And then the second one:

Sorry - not a great picture, I know! This one I created myself. They asked for colours in the range used in their own starting square, and geometric blocks. At some point I will put up the measurements and some pictures of how this one goes together - it's really simple actually. Lining up the diagonals felt scary but turned out to be really easy-peasy!


So those are the 2 I've done, so I have one more to do. It's based on a block pattern I saw on Quilter's Cache, but I've scaled it up to the right size. I know which fabrics I'm using and where, so I really do just need to cut them out and sew them! Pictures will follow at some point.

I have to get back to packing now. I'm really tired, but I know I'll run out of time tomorrow if I'm not careful. So the next time I post I will be in Bath!

Love love xx

Mug Rugs, Pyjamas, Apron, Biscuits and a Book and a Booking

So I know I said I would update yesterday, but the male members of my family decided yesterday was the day to fool around with the internet connection in the house, so I was unable to!

So over the past week I've been making these things called mug rugs - about the size of a placemat and made like a miniature quilt, they're big enough to put a mug and a biscuit on at the same time, for cozy afternoons on the sofa with a good book or some knitting! I invented the design myself, which I'm rather chuffed about; and I will be making another post at some point as a sort of tutorial for making it. It may not be so great, though, since I've never actually done a tutorial before. But that will come later at some point. Anywho, would you like to see the four mug rugs I've made so far? Of course you do!






Don't you think they're pretty?! I'm kind of in love with them, even if I do say so myself!

Aand a little bit closer! They're all the same design, but I put the mug in a different place for each of them  for fun. And the backs are all rather pretty fabrics - but I don't have a picture of them right now, I'm afraid!








As I said, a tutorial on making those will come soon. Another thing I did this past week was to make myself some pyjama trousers. They're cotton and lightweight, and very comfortable:

 Isn't the fabric lovely?! And yes, those are gigantic cuffs on them! They have a sort of yoke at the top too made from the same fabric. And they're zipped, instead of gathered elastic. Now all I have to do is to make the top to go with them! I know what I'm doing, and I have two fabrics to choose between. But it's a pattern that can be worn during the day, so maybe I'll use the other fabric to make a top for during the day!




And the last thing I made this last week was my apron for college. I don't know if I mentioned at any point, I'm going to university to train to be a nanny? So we're required to bring an apron, presumably for cooking. This is mine:

 It's a sort of cotton canvas material, and my mum and I worked out the pattern between us. It's pretty basic, but has a pleated skirt. Hopefully this fabric won't show the stains too much!






And that's what I've been doing! I also baked some yummy biscuits, and read The Railway Children. I saw the wife for a few hours on Thursday. She's gone back up to Newcastle today, and her volunteering starts tomorrow. The next time I see her will be mid-August, when we're going to London to see Les Mis. Yes, we've timed it to be between the Olympics and the Paralympics. We originally did this so that accommodation would be cheaper, but then a friend with a flat in London has offered it to us as a place to stay. I haven't cancelled our bought accommodation yet, just in case he flakes out, because I don't entirely trust him. But when I originally booked it I paid the extra pound for insurance on cancelling, so I can cancel up until noon of the day of check-in and still get my money back. And then I won't see the wife again until Christmas, most likely! But there we go.

I'll try to write this tutorial tomorrow, but no promises. Until then - !

Love love xx

Work, Challenging friends and Visiting them, Tidying and Baking

Wow, it's managed to be a busy week somehow! I did my last week of official work, went visiting, and did a whole lot of tidying!

So I finished work this week. It was a little emotional, but fine. I'll be working a few more days throughout summer, so I'll be seeing the girls then. The parents were really sweet and gave me a thankyou card with a gift card inside for ikea to help me with things I need for moving in September. There were lots of hugs and kisses with the girls, and then the wife gave me a lift home when I came out.

She and I went to Sheffield on Friday. We chilled at her sister's and spent the night there, which was insanely funny. Her sister is married to a guy who is rather hilarious, so the evening was filled with laughter. We did have a rather serious talk in bed that night, because she doesn't want us to hold hands anymore; and she's thinking about phasing out our fb marriage. I don't agree with it, but she thinks that because she's going to be her CU hallgroup leader next year, she has to care what assumptions other people might make about her. I'm really unhappy about it, but I see her point, and I don't want to cause her more stress right now. She's busy trying to please lots of people at the moment, including the boyfriend, and she doesn't need me having a go at her for this. Who knows, maybe in time she'll change her mind. I sure hope so.

Saturday we visited our friend, EH, who is living in Sheffield. She's at the uni there, so she took us round the town a bit, and we explored a market that was on. I bought some loose passionfruit tea, and EH gave me a tea strainer. We sat outside together and chatted about life in general. The market sold some really yummy strawberries covered in white chocolate fondant, so that went down really well. Then EH showed us her house, and we chatted a bit more there with cups of tea. The wife left for a few hours to catch up with another friend she knew in Sheffield, then she came back and picked me up and we headed back to her sister's for supper. I headed back on the train after supper, and the wife stayed on to catch up with a couple more people she knew.

I've spent today tidying and sorting my room. I've moved things around, and swept and mopped and organised. And there's still more to do. Hopefully I can finish it tomorrow, and maybe tackle the en suite too. And perhaps do some baking. I have a recipe for blondies that I want to try. Today I got major sugar cravings, so I baked up some chocolate cupcakes and ate two of them straight out of the oven. they were soo good! A very simple recipe,too - your standard 4 oz of sugar, butter and plain flour (sub a tablespoon with cocoa for chocolate cupcakes), 1 1/2 teaspoon baking powder and 2 eggs all mixed together in one go, spooned into cupcake cases and baked at 180 degrees or gas mark 4 for 20 minutes. Easy. and so much better than shop bought! You can't eat them hot from the shop, after all.

Sorry, a very rambling post. I will update in some more coherent way tomorrow, I hope!

Love love xx

Brief update

This is just a really quick update before I head for bed. Since March, I have:

visited my sister
had my permanent (hopefully!) teeth attached to my implant rods
been down to Bath to fill in forms for Norland and see my house for next year
had immunisations done for Norland
been for many walks
visited the wife in Newcastle
been down to Malvern and visited a flower show there
spent time with BM who is pregnant (she will be 16 weeks next Wednesday) and seen her scan photos
joined a gym
knitted 1 1/2 socks
done a lot of cooking - mainly suppers
read a surprising amount of new books for me.

Hopefully I will expand on various of these and fill in the past few months of absence fairly steadily. But for now - a bit of reading, then bed!

Friday, other people's problems, walking and baking, recipe, visiting, new teeth, Fill In The Blank Friday

It's Friday. I was meant to be doing fun things with my very screwy friend, BM. But she cancelled on me by saying that she 'thought it was next Friday' I had suggested. I smell bull. Because when I say 'shall we do something next Friday' on a Monday I'm talking about the next Friday, not the one after that. But I'd never really expected her to do anything but come up with a reason why she couldn't meet up today. And if I'm really honest, I wasn't particularly in the mood for doing anything with her either considering how she's been recently. I know it's selfish of me - she has depression, and so can't help being how she is, really - but I'm just a bit worn down by other people's problems right now. There are so many people coming to me with their problems and inability to cope. And whilst I'm glad people feel they can do that, I can only take so much.

On the other hand, I went for a good long walk today, through the fields and across the train track and along the field paths beyond it. I saw many trains, and waved to one. The driver waved back as well! And then I came back and baked cookies and made another batch mix ready for when the trays come out of the oven. So I'm going to put that batch in soon and make another batch, and then I'll have done all the cookies I'm doing. It's a really simple recipe, from the Good Housekeeping Cook Book, but I vary what I add to the basic mix. Their basic mix is for chocolate chip and walnut. I don't think I've ever added chocolate chips or walnut to it. I have, however, added pecans, macadamias, hazelnuts, cranberries and cherries in various combinations. Here's the recipe:

3 oz butter
3 oz white sugar
3 oz brown sugar
drop of vanilla/almond essence
1 egg
6 oz self-raising flour
pinch of salt
4 oz whatever you're adding.

Cream butter and sugars. Add essence and egg and mix. Add everything else and mix. spoon onto baking sheets and cook for about 15 minutes at 180 c or gas mark 4. Eat them all. Start again.

See? Simple! Once I have done my third batch of these cookies I will pack for going to my sister's tomorrow. I'm just a little bit very excited! I haven't been up there in ages, so it should be really nice. I need to decided what knitting project I want to start, and she'll help sort me out with yarn and needles. And we're going to go and see the new Muppet film on Sunday, which should be lovely - I haven't been to the cinema in ages, either. My life is so sad! But I am really looking forward to seeing my sister.

Next week, can I just say, is so exciting for me! I finally will have my new teeth fitted!! as in permanently! Having worn a denture for a year, I am so excited to be getting rid of it for 3 new teeth. Yesterday I had them checked at their halfway stage of making, so they were matte and didn't look like real teeth yet. But the dentist was able to check the colour-match, shape, size and fit of them. The new teeth are made of two sort of screw-in centres which are hollow and pale white. The teeth will, I think be glued onto these. But when the dentist was screwing the centres in it was really painful, because they're flared to give a more natural look; and the 2 holes that have been made and formed and maintained by healing caps are narrow and cylindrical. So the dentist didn't screw them all the way in; and she changed my healing caps for some which were marginally bigger and flared to reduce discomfort when the teeth are fitted fully next week.

Finally, today is Friday! Here are my Blanks:

My favourite room in my home is the bathroom. It is the one place where you can have absolute peace - and where you deserve peace! With the job I do, I often find I can't even get a few minutes' peace to wee in the day. So the 10-20 minutes in the shower every morning is absolute bliss to me.

My current decor style is only based on my own bedroom. But light and breezy, I would say. Lots of white!

I wish I could redecorate the kitchen in my house to make it more interesting. My parents have very bland, safe taste; and I like to experiment a bit more with colour!

My dream house absolutely has to have a lot of quirks, like reading nooks and a door hidden behind bookcases and a swing sofa.

One house item I am willing to splurge on is doors and window frames. Weird, I know - but all too often they look shabby or mismatched to the house or just plain grubby.

A decor trend I just don't get is bunting to decorate random bits of house. I just can't see a point to it?

So! That's this week's. I hear cookies calling me; and I have some letters I need to write as well, so I'm going to stop here for now.

Love love xx   

Brief update, Manchester, Lent, Church, holiday, half term and work, letter from America, walk

My cat is ill. My grandpa is much better. And my friend is heading down to see her sort-of boyfriend to try and get pregnant again. Umm.

I went to Manchester yesterday with my friend, KT. He's hilarious and we joke a lot. I bought some more writing paper, which is pretty fun and useful since I was running out rapidly; and I bought a couple of bits from lush as well. We had a drink in Starbucks and just generally chatted and walked and window shopped in clothing stores. We stopped in at Primark - a store I have never bought anything from due to cheap material clothes and cheap labour they use - and it was strange to see how uninviting the men's clothing was in general. It was all so dull and muted and miserable looking on the whole. What happened to colour? Why are we suddenly dressing men in grey and brown and mustard - a colour which suits almost nobody, I might add.

But it was really fun in general, and pretty cheap for me as days out go since the only money I had to spend was £4.50 on a return train fare with my railcard. Bargain! Plus, as I walked to and from the station, I felt like I'd done some healthy exercise too. Definitely enough to make up for the toblerone we bought for the train journey home...

I'm giving up tea for Lent. I am an avid drinker of tea. I'm not absolutely sure how many cups I get through in a day, but there is rarely a moment when I am without one in my hand. That adds up to a fair bit of money I think. Not a massive amount, but a reasonable bit. So I thought I could give it up for Lent, and give the money that would usually be spent on cups of tea for 40 days to a charity. I don't know what charity yet; but I feel it makes giving it up actually meaningful, rather than just being something I've given up pointlessly for 40 days. I remember once when we were young we gave up our pocket money for Lent and saved it all up in a tin to give to a charity. I never knew if we actually did give it to a charity, or which charity it went to... This time, I have it planned out.

My mum's kindly offered to go and look at church services with me. I decided I want to go to church on Sundays, but I'm not sure where. So we're going to do the rounds of the local churches and see which one feels right. I'm quite drawn to one at Leigh Sports Village simply because the service is at half 4 in the afternoon, which means there's no danger of sleeping in. I know, I know, religion isn't meant to be about making things easy in this way - but I do think that with the distance it is to get there, it also makes transport easier. We'll see.

The parents are going on holiday this Sunday, leaving me at home alone for a week (yay)! I enjoy pretending to own my own house and live independently, even if it is just for a week.

I'm on half term from work this week, so I've been doing as much as possible already and I'm hoping to continue my week in this vein. Then next week I will be back to work. I still plan to do as much as possible. I saw that there was a mums and tots group on in Leigh on Tuesdays in the morning, so I was considering trying BB at that. It does cost 50p to attend, whereas Story-tots on Wednesdays and Playgroup on Thursdays are both free. But 50p isn't too bad, and I think BB might enjoy it. I'm always looking for something specific to do on each day simply to give something significant to it, and to break the day down into manageable bits. That's especially important now that BB doesn't have a nap anymore, as the afternoon can seem interminably long sometimes. But if we do something through the morning, then by the time we get home it's lunchtime, and then the games at home occupy us easily for a few hours. If we don't go out at all then the games at home have to occupy us for twice as many hours. And I feel trapped in the house - especially in this weather. I think all the groups we go to are good for BB, as when I first started working with her she was sued to having me all to herself and having undivided attention. At the groups she doesn't get that, which she is slowly getting used to. And she gets used to being in the company of other little people the same age as her, which can only be good to my mind.

I got a letter from America yesterday, which was brilliant! It's part of LetterMo, and so I'm going to write back to the lovely person who wrote to me. It was a very interesting letter, touching on sticky discussion topics, like religion and homosexuality, and healthy living. I'm going to enjoy writing back!

I'm going to stop now, as I need to get dressed for the day. I'm going for a walk with KT today. It's been so long since we saw each other - up until yesterday - so we're going to try and do a bit more from now on.

Oh - and my teeth should be finished and in my mouth by 23rd March, fingers crossed!

Love love xx

brief update, Fill in the Blank Friday, chlminding, the wife, baby games, a crazy long essay on why I wouldn't have a baby right now.

I'm tired. Not ill any more, but tired. It's been a long week. My grandpa's been in and out of hospital a coupla times - once for scheduled surgery, and then again via A & E - the wife's been down, I've had work, and one of my friends is playing a dangerous game.

I will update you on all of that, but not yet, because this is my Fill in the Blank Friday:

1. The love of my life is not here yet. I don't know them yet. Although I do love my family incredibly much, and the wife as well. It would be fair to call her the love of my life, but it would be a different kind of love to the one meant here.

2. Falling in love is scary and dangerous and exciting and fun and not what life with a partner is about as far as I know. Falling in love is the really fun bit at the start before you get used to them. The real challenge for life is enjoying being with them for the rest of your lives and getting through the tough bits and the boring bits.

3. Marriage is important to me. I find it to be very significant, and not something I would consider lightly. My mum always told me that when she agreed to marry my dad, she did mean forever absolutely seriously. And I would want to as well.

4. The longest relationship I've ever had was not very long in the grand scheme of things. But then of what relationships I have had, I've never bothered to time them, really. I was too busy enjoying spending time with the person.

5. The key to a good relationship is communication, honesty and trust. People in a relationship need to talk to each other. Honestly! About the things that are bothering them, or any issues they feel can be put right. And they need to trust each other, too, that they are both being honest about what they need to know.

6. I feel loved when people remember me. When they do those little things that show they care, like sending me the link to a video that made them think of me. Or even just a text where they ask if I've had a nice day, without me having to text them first necessarily.

7. My favourite quote about love is non-existent. As soon as I read this my mind blanked on any quotes that contained the word 'love'. The only one I can remember is from Twelfth Night - 'If music be the food of love, play on. Give me excess of it-' It doesn't have any significant message for people, and it doesn't even make so very much sense out of context. But nothing else springs to mind; and even if it did, it would probably be corny.


Sot hat's this Friday's Fill in the Blank. And to recap the week... I worked, as per. BB seemed strangely ill yesterday - I mean, rather than it being an obvious illness, or her putting it on, she suddenly turned quiet and couldn't focus on playing because of a pain on her tummy. Normally she's easily distracted even if she is ill. But this time just seemed different. And I wasn't sure what to do. So I ended up ringing the parents, and her mum spoke to her on the phone (good phone skills for a 2-year old!) and suggested that it could be eczema  on her belly which she occasionally got. So we rubbed some cream on it and that kept her going until her mum got home from work.

The wife was down last weekend. She's majorly busy now with assignments and people visiting her, so she wanted to get one last drop in at home before she was too busy. It was lovely to see her, mainly because she's the one friend I have who always remembers me. Most, if not all, of the others don't really care about staying in contact that much, and I'm always the one having to make the effort. And that leaves me feeling very lonely and isolated sometimes. But the wife didn't even stop in at her own home on the way down. She just came straight to see me. And that let us have a catch-up and a giggle. And then we ate supper at hers the following night with another friend, BM. we didn't stay the night at hers, as she was leaving again the next day so it was a little hectic for her. I really hate saying goodbye. I know it's not forever, I know she's back down over Easter. But it is hard to say goodbye to someone you're close to - and someone to whom you're close because they care and make an effort where others don't.

I was meant to be seeing BM again on Wednesday evening, but she cancelled because she wasn't pregnant and was miserable about it. She's the friend who's playing a dangerous game. There are positives to having babies and children, I know that. They are a joy, and they will teach you a lot about the world and other people. But there are also a lot of sacrifices to be made if she is determined to go down this route. Ultimately I can't stop her trying, and it's clear she wants a baby very much. If she gets pregnant, I will of course support her as much as I can and as much as she needs me. But I also wonder if it wouldn't be better if she didn't get pregnant right now, but focused and prepared for an interview she has for university studying nursing, which is what she wants to do. She still doesn't know if she's going to India this September, but if I were her I would look into that too, as a possibility. But I'm not her. And she has to do what is right for her. All I can do is pick up the pieces at a time like this when she's miserable about not being pregnant, and support her in the path she takes her life down. It isn't easy.

I can't write any more. My brain is too full right now.

Love love xx

Childminding, roads, safety, temper tantrum, month of letters, London and Les Mis, Fill in the Blank, soft box, ballet

So! Through another week of childminding! It's certainly been interesting, and a little stressful if I'm honest. Tuesday and Wednesday were fine, although BB's been more challenging recently. This is mainly because she's so tired - she's getting up in the nights for her parents, and really early in the mornings too; and she's basically standing at her gate yelling at them. They keep trying to leave her to yell until she gets bored and goes back to her bed - but she's stubborn! She's always been much more of a firecracker than B, who was born with a laid-back personality! But we've had a couple of naughty steps recently, which is unusual, because normally I don't have to ask her to do anything more than twice - twice is when she wants to do something else first. But now she's being a bit pushy, and trying desperately to manipulate me with whining and telling me that she 'wants mummy' or 'feeling poorly', and the bottom lip comes out and she looks up at me to make sure I'm watching. Which I'm not, I'm afraid, because with BB the best thing to do is ignore her until she's either done what was asked or calmed down so you can tell her again.


But basically, come yesterday she must have been quite tired - and recovering from a cold, too. So she was dosed up at lunchtime with calpol, and we made the afternoon school run to pick up B. We were most of the way home, and stood at the edge of the pavement waiting to cross the road. B took a slight step back away from the edge of the pavement, and BB decided that that was the moment to run into the road. Right in front of that oncoming car. I swear, my heart stopped for a moment. Thankfully the driver was paying attention (and I cannot stress how much this demonstrates the value of the rules against using a phone in the car or other distractions!!) and he stopped. I had leapt into the road as she ran in, screaming her name. I'm not sure why - I think my first reaction was just to try and grab her out of the way of the vehicle, maybe. But I did grab her and brought her back to the pavement.

We got home safely, and nobody was injured, thank goodness. But I tell you, I have never been so scared before. I've suffered a road accident myself, and suffered the terror of operations from the dentist (which are far scarier than anyone can truly understand). But seeing BB run into the path of an oncoming car beat all. It would be devastating enough if she were my child - but she's not. I didn't want to have to imagine telling her mum that I'd let her child get killed whilst in my care! So from next week we're reinstalling the wrist-strap for a fortnight or so. Because none of us can afford to risk her getting killed. It would be too much. And you don't take chances on a child's safety. For the past 3 months, I have enjoyed having a toddler who knew about roads, and would stop at the end of the pavement if she ran ahead, and would wait for me to tell her it was safe to cross the road. And now we're going to have to rein her in. It's a little bit gutting.

So there was that major incident which rather tore me up. And then, when the girls' mum got home, BB - being tired and grizzly from everything - decided to start crying loudly, which her mum ignored (good policy on attention-seeking behaviour usually!), and it soon escalated into a full temper tantrum violence accompanied by hysterical screaming. I have never seen that from BB before. I've seen her cry, both for real and for attention. I've seen her sulk. I've seen her hit her sister occasionally when she's angry or frustrated, and I've seen her hurt people by accident when she's got carried away in a game. But I've never seen a temper tantrum like that! She calmed down eventually, and her mum then dealt with it and spoke to her. But Thursday was not the best of days overall.

But it is a Friday today! I'm going out with some friends later today, which should be nice - it's been a while since I've had the opportunity to enjoy company above the age of 5! I've also begun my Month of Letters positively, with a letter going out to I, my friend from Malvern, on 1st; and a letter going out to a theatre on 2nd. I feel this was a bit sneaky, as I had to send the tickets back so they would send me the ones for the new date I'm going - but I did include a note to say thankyou to the Customer Services team for being so brilliant!

They truly were. What had happened was that the wife and I were due to go to London and see Les Mis on 4th August this summer. Being as dumb as I was, I was the one who had booked it, and I'd forgotten that the Olympics were on. So trying to sort out accommodation was next to impossible and way out of our price range. So I rang up the Customer Services for the Delfont Mackintosh Theatre group, and a brilliant young woman helped sort me out so that we could go 2 weeks later, which would have us going down to London in the time between the Olympics and Paralympics instead. She really was lovely and helpful, and she even waived the fee for changing the tickets and talked me into a cheaper postage option. She just went above and beyond, and made me feel so secure about rearranging the tickets. So now we're going to see it on 18th, instead, and we have our accommodation booked and paid for! And going a fortnight later more than halved the price of it! So now all we have to sort out is the train journey down, and that would be better to be done nearer the time.

Last thing of note - it's a Friday! Which means I will finally be able to Fill in the Blank on an actual Friday! So here goes:

1. If money wasn't an issue, the first thing I'd cross off my Life list is to go to New Zealand with the wife. There are lots and lots of things I would love to be able to do with that money, but the most expensive and unlikely thing on the Life list I share with the wife is a trip to New Zealand and a tour of The Tribe sets, so that would be what we would do! And of course we would tour Hobbiton too...

2. The idea of adopting asian babies is something I like that other people think is weird.

3.  If my life were a movie right now, the title would be Until she burst. This is in reference to the stress I've been feeling recently, and also the amount of chocolate I've been consuming. My hips have disappeared into rolls of fat. Ah well!

4. Three things I am looking forward to this month are the possibility of house sitting in a house my parents bought, doing a bit more exercise, and doing lots of fun, crafty things!

5. My favourite song to sing in the shower is currently the theme song for 'Charley Bear'. I know. This is what happens when you're introduced to children's television. you develop favourite shows and theme songs. And this one is really good! Otherwise I'm loving Fredrika Stahl's Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

6. If I found out that the production of Quavers was ending this month, I'd go out and buy as much as I could tomorrow.

7. One thing I'll never grow tired of is the wife. I'm pretty sure, anyway. I worry sometimes that she'll grow tired of me. But I don't think I could grow tired of her.

So that's this week's done, and on the right day, too!  I'm going to stop now, as I could do with showering before tonight, really!! Plus I have little else to say... oh! Here's the picture of the soft box I made:

 Not too bad I think, for something that asks you to sew round the corners of a box!!

What I like best about these pictures is that you can't see that it's filled with chocolate in various forms! It's my chocolate box, and I love it very much. Now, if I could create a lid to hide the contents, I wouldn't eat so much of them. But it is demonstrative of my positive change in attitude towards unhealthy foods!







So that's all! I will try to post soon - like, when I've made the other box. And I'll update you on where I have sent letters as and when I do. Today's letter is to Norland College with some of my forms, tomorrow's is (hopefully) to my friend E, since she's way overdue one.

Love love xx

PS. I forgot to tell you about the ballet my mum and I saw. It was Beuaty and the Beast by Birmingham Royal Ballet, and it was excellent - the choreography and casting were ideal, and the dancers did it true justice. It really was enchanting! Also I made more soup and it was yummy.