Photo March, Blogging April, Easter with Friends and Experiments, Poorly before Placement, College News, Knitting and reading, Work and Another Kind of Work

Hi! It’s been a while, hasn’t it? I’m sorry. Life gets so busy now, and then I find other things to do in my free time, and before I know it, a month and a half has gone already.

So March was meant to be ‘take a photo everyday’ month. Well. That didn’t really happen. I got some photos, but it wasn’t a success. Having to use my phone for photos rather than a camera was discouraging, and life just got busy, and I was too busy having fun to take photos. April was meant to be ‘blog everyday’ month – and you can see how successful that was!!

Easter was lovely – I caught up with lots of friends, and had lots of baby cuddles with my friend’s baby . He’s 5 months now! How time flies! A neighbour kindly gave me lots of baby clothes in 6-9 months to take back for him.

I blew eggs for the first time this Easter. I also dyed eggs for the first time. And filled hollow egg shells with yummy goodness for the first time. Look:

 

 Aren't they pretty?! And I dyed them just with food colouring! And they were brown eggs, not white, so I was amazed the colours came out so vividly.

A few green ones...











 This one was filled with brownie - yum yum yum!

This one looked rather aged, with an antique feel to it. I don't know why, it just came out that way!

 It is meant to look white inside - I filled it with a base of chocolate then white chocolate truffle mix on top. One day I will give you my recipe for it, but that might be challenging, since I don't really measure the ingredients at all...

See? So much fun to do! And so much fun to eat!











I didn't realise the dye would penetrate the inside of the egg, but it did. So the egg was a beautiful colour on the inside, this stunning aqua colour! It was slightly mottled too, which gave a gorgeous result.











I reached the chocolate layer... nom-nom...

Digging in with my spoon - it was a challenge to break into the chocolate on the base, but when I did, it levered straight out in one delicious piece!










 All gone! but see the pretty pieces left over? Well worth it, and something I hope to make a tradition of over the years!

I have a cold. Boo. It’s not too bad today, but yesterday was kinda rough. But there we go!

I start at my new placement tomorrow. I’m at the nursery attached to our Nanny College, which should be interesting. I’ve heard rather mixed reviews of it from other students – many say that there just isn’t all that much for students to do, as the placement operates a really strong keyworker approach. I think the approach is good in terms of forming strong connections with the children. But it must be a challenge for students. It means we can’t get practical experience of nappy changing, and things like that whilst we’re there. But I can understand why the placement works the way it does. For me, a person who hates to be doing nothing, the challenge will be finding jobs for myself to do so that I’m never just standing like a lemon. And of course I want to try to do as many creative activities as possible. They have an outside area there, so perhaps I’ll be able to do some gardening with the children. But we’ll wait and see what tomorrow brings!

We have new heads of Set. In first year, we get a new head and deputy each term. I hope they do well. It’s hard, because we’re asked to vote for the representatives we want; but we don’t know who actually wants to do the job. And without knowing that – well, there are 50 of us to choose from! There are so many people who would perform well in the role, but it’s very difficult to pick. It’s something I think I would be good at, but I’m not inclined to go for it in any way. I did so much of that in primary and high school, I’m kind of over the whole thing. Other people should get a chance, people who want to do it.

I’m knitting at the moment. But I’m not going to tell you what I’m knitting until I’ve finished it! I have some yarn for a pair of mittens too, but I’m going to wait until my current project is done before I start them. My sister has emailed me the first instructions for the mittens, so I’m all excited and motivated to finish the current work. I’m also still reading Sense and Sensibility. I’m really enjoying it, but I don’t often get the chance to indulge in reading purely for the sake of it. All too often I’m trying to do 2 things at once, and reading is not something where I can do that.

Not only do I have my first placement week starting tomorrow, but I have a module to work on next week. It’s a reflective blog, based on our time in placement and with a specific focus. My focus is free-flow. This is where the rooms in the nursery are divided into different types of rooms – creative, technology, sensory etc. and the doors are all open, so the children can all wander in and out of the rooms as they choose. There aren’t many resources about free-flow, but I’m planning to look at typical aspects of running a nursery which the free-flow design might affect, such as challenging behaviour, development, safety etc. This gives me a wider range of resources I can draw on, so hopefully this module should go pretty well! I also have 2 other modules to do this term – 1 on child health, where my focus in my group is immunisations. The other is on Working with families. I’m looking forward to them both, actually; I think I’ll enjoy them.

I also have a regular job! A family have asked me to babysit for them 3 times a week! They're lovely, with 2 boys, and I really enjoyed my first week last week. They're all so friendly, and so I enjoy it and enjoy the experience. The money helps, too - the security of it being regular is reassuring.

I’m hoping to start updating regularly again, but don’t hold me to that! Life can be so hectic, so I make no promises.

Love love xx

Snow, Veggie burgers, Illness and hairstyling, banana pancakes, January the unprocessed month leading into February the month without internet

 It was all lovely and snowy last week. College was closed for most of the week, so the whole world came to a stop. I spent lots of time cosied up with the girls from 4 doors up, watching films and baking, and just generally enjoying doing those indoor activities which keep the cold away. It thawed last night, though, and has been raining ever since.

I made veggie burgers last week, using this recipe I pinned for inspiration. I really like the idea of using quinoa as the base for burgers. But I couldn't find kale anywhere in the supermarket, so I used savoy cabbage and spinach instead. They turned out to be delicious! The cabbage isn't overpowering, but adds a lovely flavour and texture to the burgers. The burgers don't taste like meat burgers at all - but they do taste amazing!

I spent some time playing with the Octopus' hair last week as well. She's been ill all week with tonsillitis, so she was quite content to sit and watch a film while I played with her hair. I did a German braid for the first time! It worked quite well too, I think. Her hair is very fine, and lovely and long, which makes it great to play with. It was so nice to work with cooperative hair, too, rather than wild hair like my own!





 This is two strands of hair, each twisted one way, then twisted the other way around each other so they hold. My sister has done this many times, on various people - hence why I knew how to do it - but I'd never done it before.












This is just two of the same twisted strands as above, then twisted back against each other again. It looks a little messy here, but I think it looks quite clever close up!









See what I mean? you get all those twists of hair diving in and out of each other, a bit like a piece of rope.













Here's the German braid I did! See! How awesome is that?! I've never even managed to do a French braid before, but I remembered preferring the look of a German braid, so I decided to do that instead. I did big strands pulled in, and then once I tied it off, I teased the actual braid out to make it a bit bigger. I also did one starting at one side of her head, and twisting round the back of it to come to below her ear on the other side of her head. It worked okay for a first attempt, but I managed to forget to take a picture of it!







This is the last style I did. It's another of the twisty things, but I did it with a small strand of hair, coming round the side of her head. Then, once it was twisted and tied, I reached through between the two twists and pulled strands of loose hair back through. I actually really like this style - it just looks so pretty!


I made banana pancakes today. See, I saw this recipe and just had to try it! It works really, really well. They taste like banana pancakes, and have the texture of scotch pancakes. I'm still slightly amazed at how well it worked. They were delicious pancakes, and really quick and easy - I know pancakes are quick and easy in general, but these were even quicker!

A fuzzy picture, I know, but you can see that they basically look just like normal pancakes. I gobbled them all up! They made an excellent lunch. Do I feel guilty? not even remotely. Containing just banana and egg means that I would consider these to be extra healthy!




So I'm coming to the end of my unprocessed month. It's been both easier and harder than I expected. It was easier in that a lot of my meals are unprocessed anyway, so I didn't find it too difficult with regards to cooking for myself; it slid into my life quite easily. On the other hand, it was hard to find certain things, like bread, as most of the stuff in the shops was processed. I did find one which wasn't, but it was three times the price of the bread I usually buy. Otherwise I would have had to make bread for myself. It was also frustrating to not be able to just eat some chocolate if I wanted it, or a yoghurt. Snacking was harder. I managed the first three weeks fine, but the last week has been quite hard. I slipped up a couple of times - once with baked beans, once with a biscuit I just really wanted! I don't feel bad though, because it wasn't a resolution or anything. It was a goal, and I feel like I've learnt a lot from it. I'm confident in my ability to make healthy food choices for myself, and I'm also more aware of the way we eat things without reading the label to see what extra unnecessary chemicals we're eating with it. the bread really hit me with that!

So next month I have said that I'm going offline - yikes! I think it needs to be specified that I will still be checking my emails, as important information comes through to me that way. But I will not be on facebook, blogger, pinterest etc. for the month of February. This should mean that I will have lots of time for old-fashioned entertainment, such as reading, sewing, knitting etc, I really enjoy doing these things, but they often take a backseat to surfing the Internet. But for the month of February, they will be pushed to the fore, I hope, by all the free time I have to fill! And I will update on how it went in March, at which point I will be aiming to take at least 1 photo everyday. I'm feeling really good about this method of making goals, as I can try new things for a decent amount of time, and feel the benefits and drawbacks without trying to commit to it for so long that I get bored, and without feeling the pressure of it hanging over me.

I'm going to go now, and get some sleep! I have some more recipes I want to try this week, and I'll try to update once more before I'm gone.

Love love xx

Placement, Home versus Home, How to Make Friends and Faith, Weekend Plans

Sorry, still no major updates or photos. But I have my last day of induction tomorrow at nanny college, then I start placement next week. Everyone else seems to be really excited about starting placements. But if I'm honest, I'm nto feeling excited; I'm feeling nervous. We've only been in college a week and a half, and we're already starting at placements. I'm being chucked in at the deep end. I really, really want to do well. I don't want to make mistakes, and I'm still trying to learn the names of the other girls in my year, never mind the children in a class. Don't get me wrong, I'm looking forward to it and I'm sure I'll enjoy it. But right now it's all so new, and I'm not sure how to take it.

A couple of the girls I'm living with are going home this weekend; and a couple of girls from next door, too. I'm a little surprised people are going home so soon. But then I guess they've not moved so far away from their parents as I have. I don't even know if I'm going to visit my parents in half term, never mind at any weekends. I don't really miss them too much, though. I love them dearly, but I was ready to be all independent. I love this house - my room is pretty, I get to eat what I want when i want (so far lots of vegetables: score one for health!), and the weather down here is so much nicer! We've only had one day without sun so far - definite improvement on Manchester weather!

I'm getting to know a lovely girl at the moment at college, SW. I dropped by her house yesterday evening where we discussed some of the problems that we have in general life as Christians and swapped some books on faith. It's really great to have found someone that I can share this with here in Bath. One of the things I really wanted was to find some people my age who are enthusiastic about their faith. And there are a few students who are, which really helps to give that sense of community. And SW and I went to choir today with another friend, MA. It was really fun, despite me being a terrible singer. We laughed a lot, and did some rounds and stuff.

I've had a great day today, overall in fact. What with choir, and we had some interesting tutorials and discussions and such with teachers, and the nurse came in to talk to us about sexual health - I think I'll stick to my plan of waiting for marriage, thanks. But it's just been lovely. MA and I went back to SW's with her between college and choir, and played with an immense toy called a puzzle ball, which is so difficult but so entertaining! Yes, geeky, I know. And I love it!

So, plans for this weekend are pretty vague. Hopefully the wife and I will get time to chat at some point. And I want to go for a walk if possible too. There'll be church on Sunday, of course. I've been to two of them so far, and I'm thinking BCC is where I will probably want to go ultimately. There was just so much feeling, and the music was great there. I usually find that I can't be completely myself around people. But when I'm in a church that really suits me, I find that I can be myself. and the parts of myself that are usually suppressed come out really strongly. This normally makes me super emotional. But at BCC, I felt okay with those parts of myself, too. I felt all the things I normally would, but instead of crying, I felt really warm and comfortable. Hence why I'm thinking that it's the church for me!

That's about it for now - hopefully this weekend I'll take some pictures of my surroundings and post them on here. But no promises, I'm afraid!

Love love xx

London's ups and downs, Walking, talking and friendliness, Sheffield and sewing

Les Mis was utterly amazing! I loved every minute of it, and so did the wife! London in general was not so brilliant - Saturday was fine and lovely; we sat in a park with drinks for a bit, chatting, then went back to our friend's flat and chilled a little. The wife and I left him in the flat and went out to an italian restaurant where we had some lovely salad. The weather was so, so hot! It was like being on holiday abroad. We chatted a lot, then headed for the show. Sunday was pretty horrific though. I was exhausted and woke up straight after a horrible dream, which put me in a bad mood. And so I was not in a mood to talk, really, which meant that the wife and the friend held conversations which didn't involve me. Added to that the fact that I couldn't hear the conversations very well, or had nothing to add to them since they were conversations about times that the two of them had spent together; and that made me feel left out and less inclined to try and be involved or add anything. And so - blame was on both sides, I was moody and withdrawn and I know that. But they didn't try to include me either. And then I found myself feeling really sick as we were headed back to the friend's flat, so I veered off towards a tree where I could sit down and, if need be, throw up. Unfortunately it was in the opposite direction to where we were headed, and they didn't notice me moving away from them. After a couple of minutes, I got up and headed for the park where we'd been sat the day before so that I could lie down without looking like an idiot. After about 5 minutes the wife came to get me, and after realising that I was both sick and miserable, and after finding out why, she was then miserable too. So we collected our things from the friend's flat and then sat and read in a cafe between our stations for going home. All in all, not the best end to the weekend. And if I could redo it, I would. I would tell them I was feeling crappy and why, and then make an effort to involve myself in conversation. But I can't redo it, so we've all dealt with it and moved on. But overall, it was actually okay - Saturday was lovely, and the evening at Les Mis with the wife was brilliant!

Yesterday I met up with my friend DT. he's lovely and has been in Ecuador for the past 6 weeks. So we just had food and drinks and chatted and walked. I bought a second-hand DVD of Memoirs of a Geisha, after enjoying the book immensely.

And today I'm in Sheffield, with another friend - EH! I arrived today, and I'm spending the night then going home tomorrow. It should be fun. We're currently at hers, but I think we're going to go out for cake, then do some baking probably and just chill in general. I know I have a lot of sewing to do at the moment, but I will try to get it done when I get home, over tomorrow and Friday and the weekend. Promise!

Love love xx

Mug Rugs, Pyjamas, Apron, Biscuits and a Book and a Booking

So I know I said I would update yesterday, but the male members of my family decided yesterday was the day to fool around with the internet connection in the house, so I was unable to!

So over the past week I've been making these things called mug rugs - about the size of a placemat and made like a miniature quilt, they're big enough to put a mug and a biscuit on at the same time, for cozy afternoons on the sofa with a good book or some knitting! I invented the design myself, which I'm rather chuffed about; and I will be making another post at some point as a sort of tutorial for making it. It may not be so great, though, since I've never actually done a tutorial before. But that will come later at some point. Anywho, would you like to see the four mug rugs I've made so far? Of course you do!






Don't you think they're pretty?! I'm kind of in love with them, even if I do say so myself!

Aand a little bit closer! They're all the same design, but I put the mug in a different place for each of them  for fun. And the backs are all rather pretty fabrics - but I don't have a picture of them right now, I'm afraid!








As I said, a tutorial on making those will come soon. Another thing I did this past week was to make myself some pyjama trousers. They're cotton and lightweight, and very comfortable:

 Isn't the fabric lovely?! And yes, those are gigantic cuffs on them! They have a sort of yoke at the top too made from the same fabric. And they're zipped, instead of gathered elastic. Now all I have to do is to make the top to go with them! I know what I'm doing, and I have two fabrics to choose between. But it's a pattern that can be worn during the day, so maybe I'll use the other fabric to make a top for during the day!




And the last thing I made this last week was my apron for college. I don't know if I mentioned at any point, I'm going to university to train to be a nanny? So we're required to bring an apron, presumably for cooking. This is mine:

 It's a sort of cotton canvas material, and my mum and I worked out the pattern between us. It's pretty basic, but has a pleated skirt. Hopefully this fabric won't show the stains too much!






And that's what I've been doing! I also baked some yummy biscuits, and read The Railway Children. I saw the wife for a few hours on Thursday. She's gone back up to Newcastle today, and her volunteering starts tomorrow. The next time I see her will be mid-August, when we're going to London to see Les Mis. Yes, we've timed it to be between the Olympics and the Paralympics. We originally did this so that accommodation would be cheaper, but then a friend with a flat in London has offered it to us as a place to stay. I haven't cancelled our bought accommodation yet, just in case he flakes out, because I don't entirely trust him. But when I originally booked it I paid the extra pound for insurance on cancelling, so I can cancel up until noon of the day of check-in and still get my money back. And then I won't see the wife again until Christmas, most likely! But there we go.

I'll try to write this tutorial tomorrow, but no promises. Until then - !

Love love xx

The Wife and Moving, Uncover, Rolo filled Cookies

The wife was round yesterday. She moves back up to Newcastle and into her new house tomorrow. Aside from our trip to London in August, I'm not going to see her for probably about the next 6 months. Don't ask me how I'm feeling about this.

Anyway, she was round yesterday, and we did a little more in this booklet called Uncover. We've been working on it for a while, doing one chapter a week. It's basically a walkthrough of key parts of the gospel of Luke, with questions about how the messages in it relate to today's society and problems. We've been finding it to be a great way to open us up to talking about our problems and then praying about them. And then we made cookies!

These are cookies we'd been planning to make for a while, ever since we saw them on pinterest. But when we went to the site with the recipe, we were a bit disappointed. This is a frustration I often feel about pinterest: you see a great idea for something to bake, pin it, click on the link, and the recipe asks for a box of some kind of cake mix. I'm sorry, but cake mix is not an ingredient!! But the site was pretty good other than that for instructions, and it was a great idea, and we had the rolo's. So we dug up my classic cookie recipe and played with it a little to make the cookie mix. And came up with these:

Okay, so they don't actually look much like the pin we were trying to replicate. But they were gooey, and chewy and so, so good!!

 Some of them had the rolo's melt and you got this amazing caramel bit which was just glorious! And who cares if they're not exactly like what we pinned? These were better, because they were near enough to us that we could eat them!








Recipe, you say? But of course!

3 oz butter
3 oz granulated sugar
3 oz brown sugar
a few drops of vanilla essence
1 egg
6 oz self-raising flour (substitute on tablespoon of flour for 1 tablespoon cocoa powder)
pinch of salt
3 tubes of rolo's

Cream butter and sugars together.
Thoroughly incorporate egg and vanilla essence.
Incorporate flour, cocoa powder and salt.
take spoonfuls of mix, squash a rolo into it and shape mix round it. I found 2 teaspoons were a good way to do this!
Drop rolo filled spoonfuls onto parchment-lined baking tray, well spaced.
Bake at 180 degrees C (fan oven) or gas mark 4 for 15-18 minutes. They will sink under fingertips when you poke them. This will pass as they cool.
Let them cool for 5 minutes on the baking tray, then transfer to cooling rack. Eat one whilst they're still molten. Enjoy.

Never say I'm not good to you!

Love love xx

Evening with friends, Grandparents and Creme Caramel, QATWII, Supper and Knitting

So something really weird happened to me yesterday. I went round to the wife's to spend the evening with her, the boyfriend and a bunch of our friends - you know, chinese takeout, DVD, much laughter etc. And we ordered our chinese, drove up the road to collect it, paid for it and headed back. As everything got handed out, the wife's bf realised he should have ordered some sweet-and-sour sauce to go with his meal. So the wife and I headed back to the chinese to get some. She waited with the car whilst I went in and asked for a small tub of the sauce, which cost £2.00. The guy on the counter headed into the back and got a tub of it, and brought it out and handed over, just saying, 'Thanks.' I said, 'Are you giving it to me free?!' And he said, 'Can I have your number?' ... This is not something which usually happens to me - and certainly not something I'm prepared for!! I simply panicked and said something along the lines of, 'Sorry, my phone's at home and I don't know my number.' I didn't want to give it to him, but I didn't want to hurt him either, brave guy. The wife was concerned at the look on my face when I returned to the car, but simply laughed in my face when I told her. Then she of course told everyone when we got home, who laughed, and the wbf celebrated getting his sauce for free. I'm still not sure how to respond to this.

Anywho, I ended up only getting home at half 2 this morning, and getting to bed at 3, and then waking up before my alarm at 7:15, which means I only got 4 hours sleep. But despite that, I have visited my grandparents - who seem very well - and arranged to spend my Sunday morning  with them, learning to make crème caramel; and I have sewn the next block for the QATWII. This one is for a lovely lady who sent her starter block along with a craft magazine as a gift! She asked for gridlike blocks. So I came up with a design, and tried to connect the two a little by using similar colours. Wanna see? Of course you do!

 This is what I made. It's not perfect - things didn't line up exactly - but I tried oh-so hard, and I think it's okay.

And here is my square next to the starter block. What do you think? Okay together? I hope she likes it!








So all in all, not an unproductive day for someone functioning on 4 hours' sleep! And now I'm going to enjoy an extra simple supper of crumpets and... poached eggs, maybe? I think perhaps so! And then I'm going to do some more knitting on this baby blanket for this friend of mine.

Love love xx

One Week Left At Work, Knitting And Goodnight

I have one week of work left. Plus a couple of extra days in the summer, but effectively one week left. The girls have grown and changed so much! B has lost her first tooth, attended her first after-school club and learnt to cooperate with her sister (sometimes!) BB has been toilet-trained, grown more active at playgroups, and started socialising with other children her age in an amazingly grown-up way. B reads independently and silently; and she reads more challenging books to me. BB listens to longer stories, sometimes learning them so she can look through them alone; and she asks interesting and appropriate questions about the story. Both of them have started to understand the concept of jokes, and to try it out - often being funny simply in the ridiculous nature of their attempts ('Why did the horse cross the road? Umm... Neigh!'). It astounds me to think of what they were like last September when I met them, compared with how they were today. Sure, there have been ups AND downs - the squabbling, lazy pants-wetting and lack of road safety all spring to mind. But overall, I have found so much incredible joy in this job, and I will be sorry to say goodbye to them. I remember hearing each of the girls tell me they loved me for the first time, and it melts my heart. Such amazing little people, I can only pray that they grow up to be even more wonderful than they are today!

All that smushiness aside, I am exhausted! I've now been up for about 18 hours, and I am definitely ready for bed! I've spent my evening knitting more on the baby blanket I'm working on for BM. Pictures tomorrow. Hopefully I'll do some sewing tomorrow, too - either my quilt block for the person before me in the QATWII bee, or some pyjamas, or both. We'll see.And tomorrow night I'm off to the wife's to spend an evening with her, her boyfriend and some of our friends. But for now - goodnight!

Love love xx

Brief update, Manchester, Lent, Church, holiday, half term and work, letter from America, walk

My cat is ill. My grandpa is much better. And my friend is heading down to see her sort-of boyfriend to try and get pregnant again. Umm.

I went to Manchester yesterday with my friend, KT. He's hilarious and we joke a lot. I bought some more writing paper, which is pretty fun and useful since I was running out rapidly; and I bought a couple of bits from lush as well. We had a drink in Starbucks and just generally chatted and walked and window shopped in clothing stores. We stopped in at Primark - a store I have never bought anything from due to cheap material clothes and cheap labour they use - and it was strange to see how uninviting the men's clothing was in general. It was all so dull and muted and miserable looking on the whole. What happened to colour? Why are we suddenly dressing men in grey and brown and mustard - a colour which suits almost nobody, I might add.

But it was really fun in general, and pretty cheap for me as days out go since the only money I had to spend was £4.50 on a return train fare with my railcard. Bargain! Plus, as I walked to and from the station, I felt like I'd done some healthy exercise too. Definitely enough to make up for the toblerone we bought for the train journey home...

I'm giving up tea for Lent. I am an avid drinker of tea. I'm not absolutely sure how many cups I get through in a day, but there is rarely a moment when I am without one in my hand. That adds up to a fair bit of money I think. Not a massive amount, but a reasonable bit. So I thought I could give it up for Lent, and give the money that would usually be spent on cups of tea for 40 days to a charity. I don't know what charity yet; but I feel it makes giving it up actually meaningful, rather than just being something I've given up pointlessly for 40 days. I remember once when we were young we gave up our pocket money for Lent and saved it all up in a tin to give to a charity. I never knew if we actually did give it to a charity, or which charity it went to... This time, I have it planned out.

My mum's kindly offered to go and look at church services with me. I decided I want to go to church on Sundays, but I'm not sure where. So we're going to do the rounds of the local churches and see which one feels right. I'm quite drawn to one at Leigh Sports Village simply because the service is at half 4 in the afternoon, which means there's no danger of sleeping in. I know, I know, religion isn't meant to be about making things easy in this way - but I do think that with the distance it is to get there, it also makes transport easier. We'll see.

The parents are going on holiday this Sunday, leaving me at home alone for a week (yay)! I enjoy pretending to own my own house and live independently, even if it is just for a week.

I'm on half term from work this week, so I've been doing as much as possible already and I'm hoping to continue my week in this vein. Then next week I will be back to work. I still plan to do as much as possible. I saw that there was a mums and tots group on in Leigh on Tuesdays in the morning, so I was considering trying BB at that. It does cost 50p to attend, whereas Story-tots on Wednesdays and Playgroup on Thursdays are both free. But 50p isn't too bad, and I think BB might enjoy it. I'm always looking for something specific to do on each day simply to give something significant to it, and to break the day down into manageable bits. That's especially important now that BB doesn't have a nap anymore, as the afternoon can seem interminably long sometimes. But if we do something through the morning, then by the time we get home it's lunchtime, and then the games at home occupy us easily for a few hours. If we don't go out at all then the games at home have to occupy us for twice as many hours. And I feel trapped in the house - especially in this weather. I think all the groups we go to are good for BB, as when I first started working with her she was sued to having me all to herself and having undivided attention. At the groups she doesn't get that, which she is slowly getting used to. And she gets used to being in the company of other little people the same age as her, which can only be good to my mind.

I got a letter from America yesterday, which was brilliant! It's part of LetterMo, and so I'm going to write back to the lovely person who wrote to me. It was a very interesting letter, touching on sticky discussion topics, like religion and homosexuality, and healthy living. I'm going to enjoy writing back!

I'm going to stop now, as I need to get dressed for the day. I'm going for a walk with KT today. It's been so long since we saw each other - up until yesterday - so we're going to try and do a bit more from now on.

Oh - and my teeth should be finished and in my mouth by 23rd March, fingers crossed!

Love love xx

childminding, swimming, Thailand, manchester, writing, teeth, dilemmas

Again, I have to apologise for such absence. Sometimes I'm just not in the mood to write and update. Sorry.

So what have I been doing since I last posted? Well, I've started my childminding job with B and BB. They're so lovely to look after and bring me huge amounts of joy. I made cupcakes this Thursday with BB for a bake sale at B's school for Children In Need. They were non-dairy cupcakes, using whisked eggs and chestnut puree. Strange but incredibly delicious. We also had a poo explosion, which distressed BB so much with it all down the backs of her legs that we ended up having a mini shower to clean it off as quickly as possible! All in a day's work, it seems. I find myself growing in confidence the more I work with them. Working out how to speak to them can be difficult, but I'm learning how to address negative issues with B, slowly.

I've also been swimming with another B recently. I realised just how unfit I was - I couldn't even do one length without being out of breath!! Note to self: must start doing regular exercise.

My parents went away to Thailand on Wednesday, leaving me at home alone for the ten days which is so far really fun. I love being able to cook for myself and feel responsible for the house! Today I changed beds and put laundry on. Thursday morning I put the bin out and put the dishwasher on. Tomorrow I'm planning to hoover a bit and get more laundry through. Exciting, I know!

I went to Manchester yesterday with a friend. We visited Manchester's Christmas Market, somewhere I've never been before. It was magical - the whole atmosphere was just incredible. I'm hoping for snow this year round Christmas, it's one way to get that same immense feeling that I felt at the market. It truly is a kind of magic, with all the stalls like mini grottoes.

I've slowed down on my NaNoWriMo, but it's still going okay for me. I've been a little busy and a lot tired really - early mornings and late nights do not provide me with enough sleep.

Also, I had some surgery on Wednesday - fingers crossed, my last actual surgery on my mouth! It's a little painful, but I'll survive. I now have these two posts sticking through my gums. Pretty.

I'm also struggling with a dilemma which doesn't help me feel like writing. I would usually talk these things over with a friend, but since she came to me with the dilemma, I can't really talk to her about it. See, she has this friend - and they dated twice in the past, but it didn't work out. And they've stayed friends between and after both times. But she's had feelings for him all along, even after breaking up with him. And yet she knows what he's like with girls, and after he did something a little unforgettably cruel to her back in February this year, she swore she was done and would never go back there at all. She visited him last weekend though, and they ended up kissing. And he told her he loved her. And now she's not sure whether to go back to him or not. She told me that she feels the right thing to do is not to go back to him, but since they keep having these kind of encounters and she thinks she still has feelings for him, she wants to say yes. And she wanted me to tell her what to do, and to remind her of why she had sworn she was never going to go back to him. I have to confess I didn't do that, because it's not for me to make that decision. Instead we discussed things she maybe needed to consider when making the decision. And though I gave her as honest an impression of the boy as I could, I tried to avoid putting my own bias in there.

Thing is, my own gut tells me she shouldn't go back there. I just instinctively feel it's wrong. And it scares me to think she might say yes. I don't want her to know how I feel, as it shouldn't have a bearing on her choice. But I feel like the idea of her saying yes is killing me inside a little bit. I feel as though she must surely end up saying no, but part of me feels she's going to say yes because it's what she actually wants. And I don't know how to deal with that. I love her dearly and know I'll support her whatever her decision. But when the decision might hurt me so much inside, I don't know how to handle it. I just feel that it's a bad idea for her to go back to him, and that if she does she'll get hurt. And I don't want that for her. See why I can't talk to her about it? It wouldn't be fair to tell her all this. It would be like making her choose in a way, and I'm determined not to do that to her. But there isn't really anyone else I can tell this, as I'm pretty sure she hasn't told anyone else about this dilemma and she wouldn't want anyone else to know. And it's not for me to tell anyone, it's not my thing. But it's so hard for me to feel like this and not be able to do anything about it. Which is why I'm releasing it to the Internet anonymously. Because I don't know where else to talk about it. Sorry. And I know, Internet isn't always completely secret and all. But in this case, I need to get it out somewhere. And this is the safest place I can find.

That's all I can write for now. Sorry for boring you with my problems. But hopefully next time I write it'll be more interesting by far.

Love love xx

Books, Peak District, knobs, necklace, patchwork, wife, Trafford, childminding, NaNoWriMo, plans

Goodness, how time passes by. Before you know it, you've missed posting for ages again! Life has been quite busy, though. So! Last time I posted it was just after my birthday, wasn't it? And I'd just got back from visiting the wife.

Well, all the books I received for my birthday I have now read and enjoyed very much. I found it curious that I hated Animal farm when I read it, yet 1984 I felt was far more interesting. Both by George Orwell, but both very different qualities of story to me. I felt like nothing ever really happened in Animal Farm, whereas 1984 was busy and constantly fascinating to me. Fire was a good, easy read, as was Graceling which I read a long time ago by the same author. I also read Stephen Fry's chronicles, which I enjoyed immensely. His reading is difficult to read without concentrating, but really amusing and quirky. I've also reread The Shack recently, which is always a fresh read. I always come away with it feeling strong and positive and understanding myself better for having read it.

So - the weekend after I was away with the wife I went up to the Peak District with my mum and a couple of her friends from school. One of these friends has a daughter who's just a few years younger than me, and she is an awesome person! She's really clever and funny and good, and I love her company! So we stayed in the Peak district and visited Chatsworth House, where I found some amusing little novelty gifts for H, such as a campervan recipe book (!) and a book based on the telly programme Meerkat manor. I also found a coaster which made me laugh so much I just had to give it to her; and she knew why as soon as she saw it. It was a picture of some hills and there were a few sheep across the front - three pairs of sheep, in fact. And it said underneath 'double ewe double ewe double ewe'. I get that on its own that's just a bit of a corny joke and not that clever. But, having watched Gavin and Stacey about six months ago which the wife lent to me, all i could think when I heard that was of Uncle Bryn saying, 'And the best thing to do is to think of something to help remind you, like with me now, I think of "whiskey with water" which was my brother, God rest his soul, my brother's favourite drink.' And of course, since the wife has seen this too - and with it being a regular quote between the group - she got it straight away!

So I got her those little bits and I got for myself  a slightly ridiculous something:

Door knobs. Or knobs for something like that, anyway. Yes, go on, laugh like a little child, I still do in my head everything I hear the word 'knob'. Aren't they adorable, though, with their tiny buttons all over? They are really buttons, too, they're not painted on. I know I don't have a use for them just now, but I got a pair of each and I'm sure that at some point in the future I will find myself wanting super awesome handles, either for a door or a drawer or a something. And then I will be glad to have them. For now I'm keeping them in a drawer, waiting for their useful time to come But I knew I'd regret it if I didn't buy them. So I bought them!

I also bought a swirly necklace which is very pretty:

And we bought a bakewell pudding, which was very underwhelming.

It was a lovely weekend - the cottage we stayed in was delightful, but freezing and a little small. There was nowhere I could go and get some privacy really, and I value my time to myself a lot. But I did enjoy it despite that, and we arranged to have the other girl, I, come up to us and spend a week, which she did last week.

So yeah, I was up last week, and she made lots of patchwork squares for a quilt for her bed. They were really pretty! She did applique squares rather than piecing, and she did some with just a big flower in the middle in white on a pattern background, and she did some which were four hearts coming out from the middle in patterned fabric on a white background. We also baked Viennese fingers, which were nice, and pecan cookies which are to die for and do not last at all. I've made them twice since she left and eaten them all in a few days! We were going to go to Manchester for a day when we needed to get her brother's cricket stuff to him at the station anyway, but then he was so late that there was no time for us to go to Manchester. But otherwise it was lovely.

And the same time that I left, the wife came down for a brief visit. At some point over the week I had managed to get it into my head that I'd bummed her off somehow and she was in a mood with me. I don't know why I thought that, but I was absolutely convinced. And so when she invited everyone round on the Sunday, I didn't know whether to go or not because I didn't want to annoy her any more than I thought I already had. But it was all alright in the end, because at some point I managed to realise that she wasn't in a mood with me and that i was just a little bit crazy is all. And so I rang her and told her all about it and she just said that she wasn't in a mood with me and that her only problem was that she didn't know how to make things better so that I wouldn't convince myself of things like that randomly and without warning. But we went to the Trafford centre on the Monday, so it was okay really.

yeah, so we went to the Trafford centre on that Monday as part of a plot to cross a couple of things off the list - if you look at the list you will see that things have been crossed off! So we went to the Arcade in the Trafford Centre (who knew they had one of those!!) and we played on the Dance Mat and she beat me. In my defence, it was my first time, and there was a tiny baby that I could see a little way from my screen that was totally distracting! And then we went and played air hockey, and she won, but only just. it was on a drawer and she got the deciding point, is all. don't let her tell you differently. Another round and I would have beaten her! And then we did bowling, which I already knew I was atrocious at because, well, I am. And I kept insisting to her that I was really bad and that it wasn't the best idea, and then on my first round I got a strike! I think she was convinced after the next two rounds when I missed all of them! She was actually alright, she got quite a few spares and a couple of strikes too. In the end, my score was 69, at which she said I had clearly been aiming for that score because it was the rudest number I knew and typical of me! And then we did lots of window shopping and had a cuppa and came home. We did get a lot of funny looks because we were holding hands as we walked round, and she said that she'd seen a couple of people who looked like they were trying to work if we were lesbians. Meh. It didn't really bother me. As far as I'm concerned it's just like holding my mum's hand. But H is my wife I guess, so...!

So yeah! This week I started my childminding job, which is serious fun! I can't believe I'm being paid to do it! It's a lovely job to have, it really is. I've had a few issues getting there in the morning, but that seems to be working itself out now, so no worries! And aside from that, I have no more news - I'm done!

Oh wait, no I'm not. I'm also doing NaNoWriMo this year, and so far it's going awesomely. It's very easy to write, I think because I'm using a lot of what I know already and my own experience to write it, and I usually find that easier.

So today I'm going to write a letter in response to my sister, post that and the letter to my brother, and get my word count for today. i try to do 2000 words a day, to help ensure that I'll hit my target and to tide me over if I don't manage to do any on the days when I child mind. They are long days, after all, and I'm usually in bed very early on them! I've just received a package from Joe Browns, so I'm going to go for now and open that parcel!

Love love xx

long time, exams, Norland, travelling, work, pads, cardigan, vegetarianism, ice cream, TRIBE TRIBE TRIBE, fancy dress, camping, Fangella

Long time no see people! Sorry I haven't been here, it's just I was mega busy with exams and leaving, then I just plain couldn't be bothered. That's right, I was lazy. But I have soo much to tell you, and since I seem to be unable to sleep tonight I thought I'd catch us all up!

First of all: my exams were a triumph! I think, anyway. I actually loved the philosophy exams, found them really fun, and almost wished for more time, because I felt that there was so much more that I could say!! Now that's a first! Spanish was fine, I actually had masses of excess time, so we'll see how it turns out - hopefully it will be fine.

This of course leads on to College. I don't recall if I told you where I was applying; if not, I was applying to a nanny college. I had an interview, and I was waiting to hear back from them whether I had a place or not. I waited for months. Finally, I decided to call them and see when I could expect to hear back. Turns out they sent a letter to me months ago. All that waiting for nothing! But the lovely lady on the other end of the phone confirmed that I have a place for September 2012! So as long as I get the grades, 2 C's, I'm in! I'm feeling pretty confident about this, so my future is sort of set.

So now I just have this year between to figure out what to do with my time. I really want to travel still, although I know I can only travel for the second half of the year. But I really, really want to do something worthwhile, you know? Teaching children somewhere like Africa, or China. That would be ideal. At the moment I'm thinking about asking my high school if I could use their connection to a school in South Africa to work there for half a year. But I don't know if it's feasible or not.

My parents really want me to get another full-time job. I'm already working my 6 hours at Currys. I know, I know, 6 hours isn't much. But it's all the company can afford right now. And I agree, earning more money is important. But I still want to be able to do everything I want to, and I don't know how keen any companies would be at my taking the second half of the year off to go to a completely different country. I doubt they would pay me. or hire me, in fact.

So that's how future/career is looking right now. As to my own, personal life? Well, it's looking pretty peachy! I've been doing plenty of sewing, mainly of the pile of cloth pads I've been doing for a while. I'm getting there last bits of actual sewing to do and snaps to apply, then they're done! I'm planning to give a lot of them away as gifts and such to various people. I may keep one or two of the shabbier ones for myself. I have quite a collection of them now. And I still adore them, they still come in really handy, and I haven't used disposable menstrual products in months. Score one for the environment!

I also finished the sewing up of the last side seam of my cardigan I've been knitting since forever! Now all it needs are some tiny buttons, and it's done! At last! So many exclamation points, but I'm really psyched about this particular cardigan, I've had the wool since October, and been knitting it since about Christmas or something wacky. Admittedly, most of the time I haven't been knitting, which is why it's taken so long. But now i feel like the end truly is in sight for an awesome cardigan!

Not to be ignored are my cooking efforts I think. I've been doing a lot of cooking recently, probably to pacify the father more than anything. Since I decided I really wasn't going back to meat he decided he wouldn't be cooking for me anymore, as he refused 'to cook extra meals for somebody else'. Up until the point at which he realised that yes, I did mean it, and no I wasn't going to eat the first meaty meal he'd put in front of me in weeks, he'd been fine with cooking lots of vegetarian food. And he had no problem with cooking the meat separately to the rest of the meal and adding it to the plates of those who wanted it. But once it was actual and definite, suddenly it was a major issue. So I've cooked a lot of the meals recently, and he's eaten lots of vegetarian meals without complaint. And when he has cooked meat I've done my own thing. And it's been fine!

In addition to all the cooking, I also found time to try out some ice cream making. We had masses of strawberries int he fridge, so I figured it couldn't hurt to try my hand at a couple of recipes. I tried one vegan recipe, courtesy of David Lebovitz, and one normal sort of strawberry buttermilk recipe, the link to which I found on Gidget Goes Home's blog. Now, I have no ice cream maker, and I think they would have turned out better if I had one. But as far as these things go, I actually think they turned out pretty well! The vegan ice cream is more like a sorbet in texture and flavour, but very nice, if a little solid. The buttermilk is like real, creamy ice cream, again a little hard to get out of the tub, but rather yummy. I fully intend to ask for a cheap ice cream maker for my next birthday, since I think it may produce a lot of fun, and allow me to develop my crafty side in a new direction that I'm rather enjoying.

Usually when I get all crafty another side of my life suffers. Often it's my social life. But I'm pleased to say that this time it isn't at all. I spent Thursday afternoon and evening at H's house, having cycled there; and we started watching Tribe, season 3. I feel this needs explaining. When I was young, there was a program on telly called The Tribe. It was on channel 5, on either Saturday or Sunday mornings, I can't remember which. It was crap. It was terrible! the writing was awful, the acting was pretty poor, although to be fair it improved to some extent over the seasons, and direction was pretty missing too. And I loved it! I adored the whole thing, not seeing how bad it was at the time. And at some point years later, about 3 years ago I think, I rediscovered it and started watching it all over again. So cool of me, I know. And this time round I could see how bad it was. But I didn't care. As an original fan I remember how awesome it was to me; and even though now I see how awful it is, I still love it as much as I used to!

And what I can say is good about the program, is the concept. It's based on the idea of a post-apocalyptic world where a virus has wiped out all the adults and left only children who have to survive alone now by forming tribes. Amazing, right? Right? Okay, just me then! But I have the same love for the characters that I always had, so even though the whole thing is a shambles in all honesty, I still adore it, and know everything about the characters!

Anyway, how this links to H is that at some point in the last year we would have been talking about tv, and I'm pretty sure I was the one who mentioned this old program I used to love, my secret, shameful love. Of course, then she would have gasped and gone, oh my goodness! I used to watch that! And that would be where it all started. My sister ordered season one and, having watched it over, left it at home in my care (but remembering, of course, that it is hers!). And so H watched season one with me. Having done so, she promptly ordered season two, which we both then watched. We'd been putting off season three until after exams so that we could study - putting it off for months, you must see. And, knowing H finished her exams first, and knowing how hard she'd studied (particularly compared to me), I ordered season three as a gift for her and had it sent by amazon to her house. This meant that I received a phone call from her one morning which pretty much went:

Me: hello?
H: Why has Tribe season three just come through my door?
Me: oh... eh heh heh heh...

H and myself, with her permission

She was delighted, of course, but we hadn't had chance to watch it due to majorly busy schedules. But Thursday arrived, and having spent Wednesday evening thinking about the season to come and salivating in excitement, I texted H telling her hoe psyched I was and how much I wanted to watch it. And she was all, well, why not come round this afternoon? We can watch some then. To which I was like, There! And I brought my cardigan with me, which is where I did my last seam on it, whilst watching Tribe and clutching H's hand desperately in our thrilled, tense excitement as the event of the season happened! And that, ladies and gentlemen, is one hell of a story!

But, back to my social life not suffering, I'm going round to H's tomorrow afternoon, where we will watch more of Tribe season three and get ready for a fancy dress party, themed 'Princes, princesses and fairy tales'. I'm going as Gretel. I thought long and hard about costumes. I have a long gold dress which I could wear to go as Belle from Beauty and the Beast. But it is an eighteenth, and I know how rowdy we can be and I want to be a bit more free moving. I still don't want to look like an idiot, however. So the dress I have is great, it comes to the knees in a full skirt made of curtain material, so it's plenty free moving. Pictures of it after tomorrow evening. And of course it's a different costume, since i think many people are going as fairies, and since when did I ever want to do what everyone else was doing?

Also, on Monday I leave with the same friends to go camping for three nights in the Lake District. This should be fun, if a little... interesting. Photos of that when I get back too, I promise! So you can see, my social life is pretty sweet right now, despite all the crafty stuff I've been doing!

So that's pretty much it, a full catch up. One last thought to leave you with, though. My mum has started calling my denture Fangella. It irked me the first time, and I had no idea what she was talking about; but it's growing on me. I can see me mourning the denture when it's no longer necessary as much as I mourned the teeth coming out in the first place. Poor Fangella.

Love love xx