Jam, picnics and cake, frogs to kiss, and a busy life...!

Ready for a catchup?! Here's what I've been up to of late...

 I made jam - plum jam, to be specific. I love plum jam, especially in PB & J's!












 The weather has been, at times, glorious! This was an amazing picnic we had as a house, with cake and biscuits and sunshine...!










 I made this cake for my housemate's birthday. It's a classic victoria sponge, with whipped cream and jam in the middle... mmmmn! Nothing quite beats a cake like that for the sunny weather!








 And I spent a weekend in Sherwood Forest, chilling out. I saw lots of these little guys, and rescued a few from the middle of roads so that they wouldn't get trodden on.




Other than that, I've spent a lot of time doing work for Nanny College. We have had many deadlines, and lots of preparations to make ready for job hunting in a couple of months. I handed in my last piece of work on Monday, and have been catching up on sleep ever since! I almost don't know what to do with myself now that I have some time off. But only almost! I'm headed back to my parents' in two days for a week or so, so I have to pack, and clean my bedroom here in Bath. I also have to clean the kitchen, as it's my job on the rota this week. I also want to do a little sewing - not much, but I want to make a block tonight! We'll see though. Tomorrow I'm meeting a friend for coffee - how I've missed my Niminy Cricket! I can't wait to see her tomorrow morning. And in the afternoon I'm visiting another friend. so I don't have much time left before I'm headed back to Manchester to do the cleaning needed... Who wanted a quiet life, anyway?!

I also received my bridesmaid dress for my best friend's wedding, so at some point I will post photos of it - once it's properly fitted to me, anyway!

Speak again soon.

Love love xx

Photo March, Blogging April, Easter with Friends and Experiments, Poorly before Placement, College News, Knitting and reading, Work and Another Kind of Work

Hi! It’s been a while, hasn’t it? I’m sorry. Life gets so busy now, and then I find other things to do in my free time, and before I know it, a month and a half has gone already.

So March was meant to be ‘take a photo everyday’ month. Well. That didn’t really happen. I got some photos, but it wasn’t a success. Having to use my phone for photos rather than a camera was discouraging, and life just got busy, and I was too busy having fun to take photos. April was meant to be ‘blog everyday’ month – and you can see how successful that was!!

Easter was lovely – I caught up with lots of friends, and had lots of baby cuddles with my friend’s baby . He’s 5 months now! How time flies! A neighbour kindly gave me lots of baby clothes in 6-9 months to take back for him.

I blew eggs for the first time this Easter. I also dyed eggs for the first time. And filled hollow egg shells with yummy goodness for the first time. Look:

 

 Aren't they pretty?! And I dyed them just with food colouring! And they were brown eggs, not white, so I was amazed the colours came out so vividly.

A few green ones...











 This one was filled with brownie - yum yum yum!

This one looked rather aged, with an antique feel to it. I don't know why, it just came out that way!

 It is meant to look white inside - I filled it with a base of chocolate then white chocolate truffle mix on top. One day I will give you my recipe for it, but that might be challenging, since I don't really measure the ingredients at all...

See? So much fun to do! And so much fun to eat!











I didn't realise the dye would penetrate the inside of the egg, but it did. So the egg was a beautiful colour on the inside, this stunning aqua colour! It was slightly mottled too, which gave a gorgeous result.











I reached the chocolate layer... nom-nom...

Digging in with my spoon - it was a challenge to break into the chocolate on the base, but when I did, it levered straight out in one delicious piece!










 All gone! but see the pretty pieces left over? Well worth it, and something I hope to make a tradition of over the years!

I have a cold. Boo. It’s not too bad today, but yesterday was kinda rough. But there we go!

I start at my new placement tomorrow. I’m at the nursery attached to our Nanny College, which should be interesting. I’ve heard rather mixed reviews of it from other students – many say that there just isn’t all that much for students to do, as the placement operates a really strong keyworker approach. I think the approach is good in terms of forming strong connections with the children. But it must be a challenge for students. It means we can’t get practical experience of nappy changing, and things like that whilst we’re there. But I can understand why the placement works the way it does. For me, a person who hates to be doing nothing, the challenge will be finding jobs for myself to do so that I’m never just standing like a lemon. And of course I want to try to do as many creative activities as possible. They have an outside area there, so perhaps I’ll be able to do some gardening with the children. But we’ll wait and see what tomorrow brings!

We have new heads of Set. In first year, we get a new head and deputy each term. I hope they do well. It’s hard, because we’re asked to vote for the representatives we want; but we don’t know who actually wants to do the job. And without knowing that – well, there are 50 of us to choose from! There are so many people who would perform well in the role, but it’s very difficult to pick. It’s something I think I would be good at, but I’m not inclined to go for it in any way. I did so much of that in primary and high school, I’m kind of over the whole thing. Other people should get a chance, people who want to do it.

I’m knitting at the moment. But I’m not going to tell you what I’m knitting until I’ve finished it! I have some yarn for a pair of mittens too, but I’m going to wait until my current project is done before I start them. My sister has emailed me the first instructions for the mittens, so I’m all excited and motivated to finish the current work. I’m also still reading Sense and Sensibility. I’m really enjoying it, but I don’t often get the chance to indulge in reading purely for the sake of it. All too often I’m trying to do 2 things at once, and reading is not something where I can do that.

Not only do I have my first placement week starting tomorrow, but I have a module to work on next week. It’s a reflective blog, based on our time in placement and with a specific focus. My focus is free-flow. This is where the rooms in the nursery are divided into different types of rooms – creative, technology, sensory etc. and the doors are all open, so the children can all wander in and out of the rooms as they choose. There aren’t many resources about free-flow, but I’m planning to look at typical aspects of running a nursery which the free-flow design might affect, such as challenging behaviour, development, safety etc. This gives me a wider range of resources I can draw on, so hopefully this module should go pretty well! I also have 2 other modules to do this term – 1 on child health, where my focus in my group is immunisations. The other is on Working with families. I’m looking forward to them both, actually; I think I’ll enjoy them.

I also have a regular job! A family have asked me to babysit for them 3 times a week! They're lovely, with 2 boys, and I really enjoyed my first week last week. They're all so friendly, and so I enjoy it and enjoy the experience. The money helps, too - the security of it being regular is reassuring.

I’m hoping to start updating regularly again, but don’t hold me to that! Life can be so hectic, so I make no promises.

Love love xx

A Full Day's Work for a Toddler's Birthday, Quilt and Bed

Well, I did not achieve nearly as much as I had planned. Mainly because making the toddler's birthday present has taken me all day. it took me all afternoon just to peel the paper off the crayons; there was enough of it to fill my bin:




 Peeling crayons? So not fun. Plus, it's left me with sore fingertips from digging my nails underneath paper.











And that's not to mention the amount of time I spent sorting and organising the crayons according to colour and shade. The colour they look like on the outside is not the colour they colour in necessarily. Which means every colour had to be checked on paper.









Then they all had to be chopped up into tiny pieces. At first I tried using a sharpener, thinking that I would get a quicker melt that way and was therefore being smart. Turns out not, as the crayons kept gumming up my sharpener, and the shavings melted down into miniscule amounts. So I chopped the crayons after the tester one failed. The paper towel helped stop the shards of crayon from escaping.





See how awesome that looks?! I got about 13 tubs like this, all with different colours and shades in. Each got tipped into a heart-shaped silicone cupcake mold and stuck in the oven at 130 degrees c for about 20 minutes. Then they got pulled out, a skewer prodded around in each to ensure full melting and left to cool. They take about 45 minutes to an hour to cool and solidify enough to pop them out of the molds.

 And voila! Cute heart-shaped crayons, big enough for any toddler to hold, and impervious to the destruction that felt tips or narrow crayons suffer! And therefore totally worth the day's work they took, and my fingernails and so on. All effort completely worth it, as far as I'm concerned!

 The marbling is less obvious in these photos as it is in real life. I will put up a picture or two tomorrow with them all on, since a lot of them are still cooling.

Aside from that, I found the photos I'm going to use in my quilt blocks. I did not modify my top, or do any knitting, or get out for a walk. But I got the most urgent job done. the toddler can now happily turn 3 next Sunday with no worries on my part about finishing her present! And with that, I'm going to bed!

Love love xx

One Week Left At Work, Knitting And Goodnight

I have one week of work left. Plus a couple of extra days in the summer, but effectively one week left. The girls have grown and changed so much! B has lost her first tooth, attended her first after-school club and learnt to cooperate with her sister (sometimes!) BB has been toilet-trained, grown more active at playgroups, and started socialising with other children her age in an amazingly grown-up way. B reads independently and silently; and she reads more challenging books to me. BB listens to longer stories, sometimes learning them so she can look through them alone; and she asks interesting and appropriate questions about the story. Both of them have started to understand the concept of jokes, and to try it out - often being funny simply in the ridiculous nature of their attempts ('Why did the horse cross the road? Umm... Neigh!'). It astounds me to think of what they were like last September when I met them, compared with how they were today. Sure, there have been ups AND downs - the squabbling, lazy pants-wetting and lack of road safety all spring to mind. But overall, I have found so much incredible joy in this job, and I will be sorry to say goodbye to them. I remember hearing each of the girls tell me they loved me for the first time, and it melts my heart. Such amazing little people, I can only pray that they grow up to be even more wonderful than they are today!

All that smushiness aside, I am exhausted! I've now been up for about 18 hours, and I am definitely ready for bed! I've spent my evening knitting more on the baby blanket I'm working on for BM. Pictures tomorrow. Hopefully I'll do some sewing tomorrow, too - either my quilt block for the person before me in the QATWII bee, or some pyjamas, or both. We'll see.And tomorrow night I'm off to the wife's to spend an evening with her, her boyfriend and some of our friends. But for now - goodnight!

Love love xx

QATWII starter block, toddler

I finished my starter block for the QATWII! Wheee! And I'm rather happy with it - it's worked out better than I'd expected. Wanna see? Oh, go on then!

 See?! And I don't know if you can tell, but there's a faint pink blush to the centre of each flower...? I did that! I'm really pleased with how the fabric paints worked out, because it's nice and subtle, but just adds enough to really look more like a scarlet pimpernel!

And a little closer, you'll see the stitched flower name. Maybe the pink flower middles are a little more obvious here? And if you look really carefully and closely, particularly at the lower flower, you might be able to see that in the very centre it's just faintly yellow... again, I'm really glad at how that's worked. It's not overly bright and poster paint-ish, but it adds a little more realness to the scarlet pimpernels (I hope)!




That's the only reason I have for posting, really. I've been at work all day which has been nice and lovely and fun but nothing to write home about. The toddler - who is turning 3 in about a fortnight!! - has developed an adorable habit of pointing out babies when we're out and about and saying, 'there's a baby. It's soo cute!' Obviously anyone who happens to hear this just oohs and aahs and ends up in a melted puddle on the floor, because it's just so darn adorable! I wish I could get across the tone of voice she uses to properly emphasise this. Just accept me telling you it's heart-melting!

Okay, that's all, I promise!

Love love xx

Brief update

This is just a really quick update before I head for bed. Since March, I have:

visited my sister
had my permanent (hopefully!) teeth attached to my implant rods
been down to Bath to fill in forms for Norland and see my house for next year
had immunisations done for Norland
been for many walks
visited the wife in Newcastle
been down to Malvern and visited a flower show there
spent time with BM who is pregnant (she will be 16 weeks next Wednesday) and seen her scan photos
joined a gym
knitted 1 1/2 socks
done a lot of cooking - mainly suppers
read a surprising amount of new books for me.

Hopefully I will expand on various of these and fill in the past few months of absence fairly steadily. But for now - a bit of reading, then bed!

Brief update, Manchester, Lent, Church, holiday, half term and work, letter from America, walk

My cat is ill. My grandpa is much better. And my friend is heading down to see her sort-of boyfriend to try and get pregnant again. Umm.

I went to Manchester yesterday with my friend, KT. He's hilarious and we joke a lot. I bought some more writing paper, which is pretty fun and useful since I was running out rapidly; and I bought a couple of bits from lush as well. We had a drink in Starbucks and just generally chatted and walked and window shopped in clothing stores. We stopped in at Primark - a store I have never bought anything from due to cheap material clothes and cheap labour they use - and it was strange to see how uninviting the men's clothing was in general. It was all so dull and muted and miserable looking on the whole. What happened to colour? Why are we suddenly dressing men in grey and brown and mustard - a colour which suits almost nobody, I might add.

But it was really fun in general, and pretty cheap for me as days out go since the only money I had to spend was £4.50 on a return train fare with my railcard. Bargain! Plus, as I walked to and from the station, I felt like I'd done some healthy exercise too. Definitely enough to make up for the toblerone we bought for the train journey home...

I'm giving up tea for Lent. I am an avid drinker of tea. I'm not absolutely sure how many cups I get through in a day, but there is rarely a moment when I am without one in my hand. That adds up to a fair bit of money I think. Not a massive amount, but a reasonable bit. So I thought I could give it up for Lent, and give the money that would usually be spent on cups of tea for 40 days to a charity. I don't know what charity yet; but I feel it makes giving it up actually meaningful, rather than just being something I've given up pointlessly for 40 days. I remember once when we were young we gave up our pocket money for Lent and saved it all up in a tin to give to a charity. I never knew if we actually did give it to a charity, or which charity it went to... This time, I have it planned out.

My mum's kindly offered to go and look at church services with me. I decided I want to go to church on Sundays, but I'm not sure where. So we're going to do the rounds of the local churches and see which one feels right. I'm quite drawn to one at Leigh Sports Village simply because the service is at half 4 in the afternoon, which means there's no danger of sleeping in. I know, I know, religion isn't meant to be about making things easy in this way - but I do think that with the distance it is to get there, it also makes transport easier. We'll see.

The parents are going on holiday this Sunday, leaving me at home alone for a week (yay)! I enjoy pretending to own my own house and live independently, even if it is just for a week.

I'm on half term from work this week, so I've been doing as much as possible already and I'm hoping to continue my week in this vein. Then next week I will be back to work. I still plan to do as much as possible. I saw that there was a mums and tots group on in Leigh on Tuesdays in the morning, so I was considering trying BB at that. It does cost 50p to attend, whereas Story-tots on Wednesdays and Playgroup on Thursdays are both free. But 50p isn't too bad, and I think BB might enjoy it. I'm always looking for something specific to do on each day simply to give something significant to it, and to break the day down into manageable bits. That's especially important now that BB doesn't have a nap anymore, as the afternoon can seem interminably long sometimes. But if we do something through the morning, then by the time we get home it's lunchtime, and then the games at home occupy us easily for a few hours. If we don't go out at all then the games at home have to occupy us for twice as many hours. And I feel trapped in the house - especially in this weather. I think all the groups we go to are good for BB, as when I first started working with her she was sued to having me all to herself and having undivided attention. At the groups she doesn't get that, which she is slowly getting used to. And she gets used to being in the company of other little people the same age as her, which can only be good to my mind.

I got a letter from America yesterday, which was brilliant! It's part of LetterMo, and so I'm going to write back to the lovely person who wrote to me. It was a very interesting letter, touching on sticky discussion topics, like religion and homosexuality, and healthy living. I'm going to enjoy writing back!

I'm going to stop now, as I need to get dressed for the day. I'm going for a walk with KT today. It's been so long since we saw each other - up until yesterday - so we're going to try and do a bit more from now on.

Oh - and my teeth should be finished and in my mouth by 23rd March, fingers crossed!

Love love xx

weather and work, quilt, pecan butter, pecan butter, pecan butter, today's plans include soup, peeling fruit

Goodness, it's cold today! Well, I was out of the house before the sun was up in order to go to work, but then Big Boss Daddy rang to say that he and the girls were ill so they didn't need me today. So I came back home! I'm quite okay with all that, since there are lots of things I want to do!

So yesterday I made another two squares for my own quilt which I started back last summer but put on hold and never got back around to until now. I also decided I didn't want one of the squares I had made in my quilt and took it out of the group. I promise, once I have made all my main squares I will take pictures and put them up. All the squares I'm making are from Crazy Mom Quilts' star Quilt along. I have about 6 squares so far, and I need 13. Then I'll need the setting squares, sashing, back, etc etc etc. But I should do the main squares first.

I also made pecan butter - like peanut butter, but with pecans instead. Turns out it's really easy! I roasted 6oz pecans first so they would be a little easier, then I tipped them into the mixer and whizzed! Nothing else, just pecans.

 At first it just shattered the nuts down into tiny little pieces. Not very appetising, I must say.

 But then... look! They kept getting smaller and started to clump together a bit!

 They stopped trying to climb up the side, and got to this point - the oils were coming out, and it was binding, but still sort of lumpy.













And then it went like this! Seriously, I just kept whizzing the mixer and scraping the nuts down from the sides, and eventually the oil came out of them, and they turned all liquidy and like peanut butter but with pecans instead! How awesome, right?!









See? Check out the glossy liquid of that!












So that was hugely exciting for me, and I had a look at the label of a peanut butter jar, and they put other stuff in there, like palm oil and salt and stuff, and it's totally unnecessary. To make a nut butter, all you need to use are the nuts! (insert childish giggle) The oil in the nuts will make the butter for you. Some are easier than others, but for most if you roast them first it makes it easier. And you can flavour these things too, however you like - nutmeg, cinnamon, honey, anything at all!

So today I'm hoping to complete another couple of squares, maybe go swimming, and make some cookies! Very indulgent of me, I know - no housework featuring on my radar (except some laundry that needs doing). Just a day where I can do stuff I want. And I'm making parsnip soup for supper. I really love soups! They're just a really yummy way of eating vegetables. I've been mulling over the idea of trying to make tomato soup for a while. It's such a common soup, after all, and yet I've never even attempted to make it! Hmmmn...

Oh, and I ate a whole lot of fruit yesterday. Turns out you can peel oranges. I know that probably sounds insanely stupid; but I swear, for years we always used a knife to slice the skin of big oranges. Well, I peeled and ate one yesterday. And then I discovered you could peel a grapefruit, too. And under the grapefruit skin is really thick pith which you can peel off as well, in a second layer! So I had a lot of fun eating fruit yesterday.

Love love xx

Childminding, lonely, letters challenge, Fill in the blank Friday

So, for once I've managed to post just a week after my last post, which is good for me at the moment! There isn't really too much to catch you up on; more little bits of interest.

Firstly, last week was a loong week of childminding - firstly, because I did four days instead of three for the second week running. Secondly, because B was off ill the entire week with tonsillitis, which meant I had two little ones to look after all day instead of one. Whilst this in itself wasn't too difficult, the problem lay in that because B was ill, she wanted things her own way and she wanted to do her thing, rather than being flexible about the fact that BB was too little to enjoy the same things. but we got through it, and B seemed miles better by Friday, so hopefully this coming week should be back to normal and less exhausting overall!

I've been very lonely recently. I can't remember the last time one of my friends texted/rang/messaged me without me texting/ringing/messaging them first. It just seems as though I'm making a heck of a lot of effort and not getting it back. Or something like that, anyway. Even the wife hasn't in an awfully long time. I feel as though I'm invisible to them all, and yet in their way as well. I miss getting a text without warning or prompting from a friend saying something even as simple as, 'saw ___ and thought of you', or, 'hope you've had a lovely day!' Is it me? Is it actually me? Am I demanding too much from people? Or am I just rubbish at friendships? Because I don't know anymore, I really don't.

On a lighter note, I've signed up for the Month of Letters Challenge from Mary Robinette Kowal. It seems pretty simple - 24 letters to be posted throughout the month of February. I reckon I could probably do it! I look forward to trying, anyhow.

Also, I've been meaning for a long while to do Fill in the blank Fridays from the little things we do, but somehow I always manage to not do a post on a Friday, or forget that I want to fill in the blanks. So I'm starting it now, even though it's a Monday, in the hope that I'll feel more committed, and start doing it on Fridays!

So:

My favorite place i've ever traveled to is London with the wife. It was an incredible adventure, just the two of us, being teenage and independent and awesome. We watched Wicked - the wife's first time - and we went to London Aquarium, like all self-respecting 18/19 year olds do. There was no pandering to other more demanding members of the friendship group, we could do as we pleased and be comfortable without feeling awkward or in each others' faces. We're going back this summer to watch Les Mis!

Australia is somewhere I'd love to go someday

I pass the time on a plane (or bus, or car ride or train) by reading, staring out of the window, and making up stories about the lives of the strangers around me.

My three must-haves when I travel are a good book, a phone with a full battery, and a spare jumper.

My favorite travel companion is myself. Although travelling with the wife has never bothered me either.

The craziest thing that ever happened to me while traveling is I bumped into an old teacher whilst stood on a platform with two young children. I hasten to add they were not my own, something I think was one of the first things I said to my old teacher! She wasn't keen on small children and didn't chat for long.

The most exotic food I've ever tried while traveling is goat, probably? Not sure.

If I could live anywhere else, I'd live in a warmer country. Anywhere warmer than England.

I have been to no states in the U.S.

So yeah! My first Fill in the Blank Friday! Hopefully next time it will be done on a Friday, too! Oh - I made a soft box yesterday. Pictures soon. Probably when I get around to making the second one I have planned. And I cooked some yummy meals recently. And... that's all I have to say for now. Hopefully I'll have more interesting stuff to say next time.

Love love xxx

ill, childminding, childminding, childminding, plans for next week, letters and yoghurts, wifey

I'm sick. Still. Not drastically so, but enough to make me all unhappy about it and say all the time, 'this being ill thing really sucks It's just so frustrating!' Mamma reckons it's glandular fever. I reckon I don't care, I don't want it regardless of its name. Even if it was called Naya Rivera I would not want it. Because it is hurting my feelings, and you shouldn't associate with things that hurt your feelings. having said which, if Naya Rivera turned up on my doorstep, I would not refuse to associate with her. But then I don't think she would hurt me like this stupid illness is.

So yeah. Not done much of anything, still. I've been childminding, obviously. It's been pretty fun. BB is now pretty completely potty trained - yay! She's learnt this funny trick now, where she does a poo, then bends over and touches her toes so that I can wipe her bum clean! It does make me chuckle. On the other hand, since we started the whole potty training ball rolling with a reward jelly tot for every successful trip, she's developed this whiny tone of voice that demands a 'jelly top' after every single potty trip. I'm afraid I'm big and nasty and refuse to give her the reward until she asks politely in a more normal tone of voice. She's 2, she's not going to tell me what to do in that way!

We've just wiped out her nap completely, too. She decided she no longer wanted it over Christmas, and refused to go for her parents. But she was going for half an hour with me. But since it's making her faff about both when going to bed and when getting up in the morning, we just agreed we'd scratch it and see how she did. She seems okay - she crashes a little come the afternoon, but doesn't get her family up at 5.30 in the mornings now, so all in all a pretty good job! B is much the same as usual - school, homework (way too much for a 5 year old as far as I'm concerned!!) and we've been enjoying reading some books together.

We all jumped in muddy puddles the other day. It had been raining during the day, but the sun had come out and it was pretty warm. We all had wellies on and waterproofs, and there were some deep puddles just outside the house. Sure, the waterproofs needed a sponge off afterwards, sure the 5 year old slipped and got coated in mud and needed the fastest bath known to man, sure her clothes all went straight in the wash. But the two of them got to run around in winter, jumping around, laughing and playing together, and we all enjoyed it. So worth it!

Aside from all this I haven't done anything else much. Next Wednesday I'm meant to be going out for a ballroom dancing class with a friend, which should be hilarious fun! And on Thursday I'm going to see the ballet of Beauty and the Beast with mamma at the Lowry. I'm very much looking forward to it - it's been a while since I saw a ballet, and I do enjoy them!

I've also written a few letters to people, so I'm going to go now and post those. It's a good way to get me out of the house! I might take a walk to the texaco at the same time and pick up some yoghurts, too. I've been craving them for ages and we haven't bought any!

Love love xx

Ps. Still missing the wife terribly. It sucks that she chose to go to a uni so far away.

Happy New Year!, reflections, resolutions

The New Year is begun! It is officially the first day of 2012. 2011 is finished with, to be boxed up with so many other previous years. So many people my age seem to look on the year that's gone extremely, considering it to have been either the best or worst year of their life. Well, at our age, we haven't really had many years to compare it with. Nor have we have that many significant events in our life that would put a spin on how good or bad a year has been. But all the trivial things in our lives seem to be so major to us. And we seem to judge how well a year has gone on the last month of it, or thereabouts, our mood at the time of writing our facebook status about it having a large bearing on how we judge it. But if they actually really thought about the year, maybe they would realise that, overall, it's been a pretty good year, perhaps with a crappy finish - but pretty good overall. Or maybe that it's been a bit of a mixed bag. Or maybe that it was just another year, neither good nor bad, which in itself might seem a little sad, but is still better than a bad year, as it gives ground to build on. But I doubt that for most of the people my age whose years have been 'the best' or 'the worst' of their lives, that they actually have.

As or me, I've spent a lot of time considering the past year, and I think, on the whole, it's been pretty good. Last year, I: completed college; got wonderful A level results; went to London with H to see Wicked; began work childminding; suffered from incredibly painful tooth infections; sorted out and had the majority of the dental work needed to give me a healthy smile again; developed some incredibly open and hones closer relationships with friends; grew closer to God than I had felt in years; wrote a couple of articles for The Band; made my first quilt; and began to grow upwards as a person. Boy, that's a lot! Sure, there have been downers in my year - some hefty ones, at times. But even they have provided me with the ability to think and reflect a lot on myself, and not only to come up from them, but to grow further. I learnt a lot in the past year about myself, about my friends, and about the people around me - spiritually and emotionally, I feel I have grown, at least a little. So many incredible memories have been made in the last year. I am higher and more stable than I have been in years. And I look forward to the year ahead of me. I can't wait to create new memories, and to face difficulties head-on (I know, this is getting corny).

I already know that in the coming year I shall: continue childminding; give B as much help as I can; go to see Les Mis with H in London; start at nanny college; and do lots of writing! I hope I shall: stay in touch with people; grow even closer to God; grow more in myself; learn lots of new things; ask for help when I need it; and keep being happier. I hope to continue my diary - and my blog, perhaps more frequently than I currently do! I want to enjoy every experience I can, and perhaps capture a few of them with photos. My dental work will be completed in the first quarter of the year, which I am very excited for!! So overall, it feels like a year filled with potential and promise!

I've spent quite a bit of time considering New Year's Resolutions. It's not something I usually do, simply because I can't be bothered and I can't see the point. I guess I've figured out that the reason we make New Year's Resolutions is because a fresh year feels like a fresh slate - we can rub off the mistakes we made in the last year, and resolve not to make them again this year. So! I decided to make some New Year's Resolutions, and I found some helpful suggestions from The Happiness Project for making your Resolutions realistic and attainable, such as making them specific actions that are measurable - for example, if you want to be healthier, just writing 'be healthier' is not easy to measure. It's a big, general statement, and you're likely to feel frustrated every time you do anything that isn't healthy. And that means you're likely to give up. So instead, making the Resolution to eat a certain number of fruit and veg portions every day, or to do a certain amount of exercise a week will enable you to measure your success. I actually joined the Happiness Challenge for 2012 (something you can do here) as well, because I want to become happier during 2012, but it's a difficult Resolve to specify into measurable actions. But anyway - here are my Resolutions:

Health:

• Get out of the house for a walk at least once every 2 days
• Exercise at least 5 times a week
• Eat 3 fruit/veg everyday
• Go to bed no later than 11, except on special occasions

Hobbies:

• Write in my diary at least twice a week
• Keep up with my letter-writing
• Start and complete at least 1 knitting/sewing/crafty project a month
• Read at least 1 new book a month (ie unread)

Housework:

• Change my bed once a week
• Complete 1 housework task every 2 days
• Tackle 1 room in the house a month

Happiness:

• Try to trust people more
• Be more honest with people about my feelings
• Appreciate other people more - and let them know
• Be more honest with myself about my feelings
• Appreciate myself more
• Accept my limitations, be realistic with my expectations, and be patient and understanding with myself

It looks like a lot to aim for, I know. I'll probably have to introduce things bit by bit, rather than trying to do it all at once. I can't expect them all to happen overnight, after all! So I'm going to start by aiming to do the walking one, the fruit/veg one, and the diary writing one. Those 3 are a good starting point - they all feel attainable, they're not too big a change from my current lifestyle, and they're enjoyable ones too. And by starting with just those 3, I'll be working on some from the Happiness column. The bed one in Housework is something I already do, which could be called cheating I guess - but I'm thinking of it as a big automatic tick to help encourage me! The Happiness column is the hardest, as I don't think they're things that can be done consciously really. But I want them there anyway, so that at the end of 2012 I can look back and reflect on whether I feel those Resolutions developed or not. I guess they're more a mental reminder for next year.

So that's all for now - a long post, I know! But a good post to start off the New Year, positive and fresh-feeling! So - a Happy, Prosperous New Year to all, including myself!

Love love xx

childminding, childminding, potty training, Manchester, NaNoWriMo, The Band, letters, dilemma solved, surgery, hair

So this time, there is a wonderful reason for my absence - the family computer wasn't behaving. It worked, except for blogger, which wouldn't run at all.

So - my life at the moment. Well, there's childminding, which is going awesomely as per usual. BB is pushing her boundaries at the moment, trying to find a way to get away with naughty stuff. Not like, really naughty, more like defying me when I tell her not to jump up and down on that chair because she will fall off and then scream for five minutes. So we have a naughty step, which is weirdly... I don't even know. She goes on it for two minutes, cries unendingly for the first one and is just sat there when I go to speak to her. She says sorry, hugs me and tells me she loves me which makes my heart melt because I just punished her, then she laughs and says she won't do that naughty thing again. And ten minutes later, she's forgotten all about it being a naughty thing and is doing it all over again. nor surprising for her age, I guess. Distracting her from the naughty action tends to work best. We've also learnt how to not cry for too long by taking deep breaths. So she falls over, bangs her head and immediately starts scream-crying. So I tell her to take a deep breath, and demonstrate. She laughs at this, copies it, and all is well. Ten minutes later she falls over again, and we do it all over again. Sometimes when I say no to her, she does a really funny sulk. She doesn't tantrum at the word no. Instead she lies down on the floor, face down and pushes her bottom lip out. I ignore this. It's no fun to her when she can't see me looking at her. She only tantrums when she's trying to do something herself and it isn't working. Then she sits on the floor and pedals her legs a bit, before bringing it to me with a 'make work pwease!' It's adorable. And another negative behaviour to manage.

So yeah, yesterday she made her own lunch. It was really fun. I gave her the option of baked beans or sandwiches, and she chose sandwiches. So she got her plastic knife, and a plate with a slice of bread on it, and the carton of spread. The knife went into it vertically, twisted round and dug a tiny amount out which she then proceeded to bury somewhere inside the slice of bread whilst I spread a little more onto the slice. Same with cream cheese. Awesome. Ah well, it's the thought that counts!

We're in the middle of potty-training at the moment too, which is difficult because it's so cold that we can't take a simple route. If it were summer, we could just leave her bottom half reasonably uncovered and the potties out, and things would... I dunno. Happen. But it's too cold for that. So instead we're playing games with the dolls using the potties, and suggesting trying to use it every so often. She's drinking a lot, so she can usually wee in there. Poos? Not so much. She gets really stressed about doing them in her nappy too, because she hates having a pooey bottom. But, even though she knows when she's pooing, she won't sit down on the potty to do it. We got a poo in the potty once. I never thought I'd be so happy to be handed a bucket of poo. Yesterday she had a green poo. No kidding, green as grass. And it stank. I don't know what she ate, but it was so wrong! Sorry. This is not what I was going to talk about!

On Wednesday  the school striked, O I had B with me all day as well as BB. So we decided to go to Manchester and visit the Christmas Market - I mentioned I went with a friend the other week, and it was seriously magical. So I thought it would be fun for the girls to see it. And since I had both of them, it felt like a good time, even though it was a little early for Christmas. It took us a while to get there - the train station is right behind their house, so we were at the train station in under five minutes; but the first train that arrived was so packed it wouldn't let anybody get on. So I had to wait at the train station for half an hour with B and BB to occupy. Thankfully we had a packed lunch with us, as they're lactose intolerant. So they had their morning snack and that got them through to the next train, which was also packed to be fair but not as much. Having two young children on a train is insanely stressful. They're not even mine. How do I explain losing/killing their children by accident on a train to their mum? But we survived, they loved the market, and we went home and watched Madagascar after BB finished her nap. Success!


So other than childminding, I completed NaNoWriMo - yay! It was a relief to complete it and feel like a winner. Or rather, not to feel like a loser or failure as I would have done if I had either not done it or cheated to get the winner page. No. Doing it the honest way and knowing you did it is fiercely awesome and motivating. I finished two days before the deadline, and wrote 16000 words on that final completion day. Yeah. Most of them are probably rubbish. But - I did it anyway. So it's okay.


I also did a post for the Band, which was really good for me. I'm glad I did it. No, I'm not gonna say which is my post. there are many posts, and many topics I could post on. One of the posts is mine. But the whole website is really good. It's a website for people with all different kinds of crazy and brokenness to feel that they are not alone. The love that comes from it is amazing.


I've written a few letters also. Mainly responding to letters I received, but I also wrote a letter to IB. I realise I referred to her as I in a past post, which I only now realise is confusing, stupid child that I am. So now she's IB, which will mean no more confusing it with myself doing stuff. Sorry - yeah, I wrote a letter to her. and she responded. I need to write back to her. I know my brother wrote a letter to me at some point, but it hasn't turned up. Thanks a lot for that, Royal Mail. It really sucks that they just cannot get letters to arrive. I've even lost packages before that I've sent to people. Look, I know this is the age of computers, but snail mail has been happening for centuries. Get it together now, come on.


I wrote before about a friend who had a dilemma about a guy. Well, she said no. She felt it was best, and agreed that she needed to set boundaries in her friendship with him so that they wouldn't keep having encounters. And she has since seen him, and told him, and touched on there being boundaries but not really set any. Ah well. I felt lighter in knowing her decision, although I think I would have been relieved to know the decision even if it wasn't what I'd hoped for. As it is, I'm pleased as well. Yes, partly in a selfish way probably. I wanted things to work out int he best possible way for me. But I'm also glad because I feel this is the less painful way for her, too. They're still friends, and that I'm unsure of. But I'm glad that she won't get hurt by dating him a third time. I don't know. Life is so difficult!!


Surgery is all healed - the stitches came out really quickly, and no more bleeding now. I'm looking forward very much to having it all finished. I might have to have a few more injections which will be horrible (because of the amount of injections and surgeries I've had, my mouth is hyper-sensitive, as my dentist says, which explains why the injections hurt so much), but with a little luck all will be over in a couple of months' time.


Not much else to add now. I know I've talked a lot. Oh! I dyed my hair again.It's really dark, with a hint of red. The roots look slightly purple, too. It's not what I planned. It's not what I expected. I love it!


Love love xx


PS. It amuses me that the word 'blogger' is not in the spell check dictionary on this thing!

childminding, swimming, Thailand, manchester, writing, teeth, dilemmas

Again, I have to apologise for such absence. Sometimes I'm just not in the mood to write and update. Sorry.

So what have I been doing since I last posted? Well, I've started my childminding job with B and BB. They're so lovely to look after and bring me huge amounts of joy. I made cupcakes this Thursday with BB for a bake sale at B's school for Children In Need. They were non-dairy cupcakes, using whisked eggs and chestnut puree. Strange but incredibly delicious. We also had a poo explosion, which distressed BB so much with it all down the backs of her legs that we ended up having a mini shower to clean it off as quickly as possible! All in a day's work, it seems. I find myself growing in confidence the more I work with them. Working out how to speak to them can be difficult, but I'm learning how to address negative issues with B, slowly.

I've also been swimming with another B recently. I realised just how unfit I was - I couldn't even do one length without being out of breath!! Note to self: must start doing regular exercise.

My parents went away to Thailand on Wednesday, leaving me at home alone for the ten days which is so far really fun. I love being able to cook for myself and feel responsible for the house! Today I changed beds and put laundry on. Thursday morning I put the bin out and put the dishwasher on. Tomorrow I'm planning to hoover a bit and get more laundry through. Exciting, I know!

I went to Manchester yesterday with a friend. We visited Manchester's Christmas Market, somewhere I've never been before. It was magical - the whole atmosphere was just incredible. I'm hoping for snow this year round Christmas, it's one way to get that same immense feeling that I felt at the market. It truly is a kind of magic, with all the stalls like mini grottoes.

I've slowed down on my NaNoWriMo, but it's still going okay for me. I've been a little busy and a lot tired really - early mornings and late nights do not provide me with enough sleep.

Also, I had some surgery on Wednesday - fingers crossed, my last actual surgery on my mouth! It's a little painful, but I'll survive. I now have these two posts sticking through my gums. Pretty.

I'm also struggling with a dilemma which doesn't help me feel like writing. I would usually talk these things over with a friend, but since she came to me with the dilemma, I can't really talk to her about it. See, she has this friend - and they dated twice in the past, but it didn't work out. And they've stayed friends between and after both times. But she's had feelings for him all along, even after breaking up with him. And yet she knows what he's like with girls, and after he did something a little unforgettably cruel to her back in February this year, she swore she was done and would never go back there at all. She visited him last weekend though, and they ended up kissing. And he told her he loved her. And now she's not sure whether to go back to him or not. She told me that she feels the right thing to do is not to go back to him, but since they keep having these kind of encounters and she thinks she still has feelings for him, she wants to say yes. And she wanted me to tell her what to do, and to remind her of why she had sworn she was never going to go back to him. I have to confess I didn't do that, because it's not for me to make that decision. Instead we discussed things she maybe needed to consider when making the decision. And though I gave her as honest an impression of the boy as I could, I tried to avoid putting my own bias in there.

Thing is, my own gut tells me she shouldn't go back there. I just instinctively feel it's wrong. And it scares me to think she might say yes. I don't want her to know how I feel, as it shouldn't have a bearing on her choice. But I feel like the idea of her saying yes is killing me inside a little bit. I feel as though she must surely end up saying no, but part of me feels she's going to say yes because it's what she actually wants. And I don't know how to deal with that. I love her dearly and know I'll support her whatever her decision. But when the decision might hurt me so much inside, I don't know how to handle it. I just feel that it's a bad idea for her to go back to him, and that if she does she'll get hurt. And I don't want that for her. See why I can't talk to her about it? It wouldn't be fair to tell her all this. It would be like making her choose in a way, and I'm determined not to do that to her. But there isn't really anyone else I can tell this, as I'm pretty sure she hasn't told anyone else about this dilemma and she wouldn't want anyone else to know. And it's not for me to tell anyone, it's not my thing. But it's so hard for me to feel like this and not be able to do anything about it. Which is why I'm releasing it to the Internet anonymously. Because I don't know where else to talk about it. Sorry. And I know, Internet isn't always completely secret and all. But in this case, I need to get it out somewhere. And this is the safest place I can find.

That's all I can write for now. Sorry for boring you with my problems. But hopefully next time I write it'll be more interesting by far.

Love love xx

Books, Peak District, knobs, necklace, patchwork, wife, Trafford, childminding, NaNoWriMo, plans

Goodness, how time passes by. Before you know it, you've missed posting for ages again! Life has been quite busy, though. So! Last time I posted it was just after my birthday, wasn't it? And I'd just got back from visiting the wife.

Well, all the books I received for my birthday I have now read and enjoyed very much. I found it curious that I hated Animal farm when I read it, yet 1984 I felt was far more interesting. Both by George Orwell, but both very different qualities of story to me. I felt like nothing ever really happened in Animal Farm, whereas 1984 was busy and constantly fascinating to me. Fire was a good, easy read, as was Graceling which I read a long time ago by the same author. I also read Stephen Fry's chronicles, which I enjoyed immensely. His reading is difficult to read without concentrating, but really amusing and quirky. I've also reread The Shack recently, which is always a fresh read. I always come away with it feeling strong and positive and understanding myself better for having read it.

So - the weekend after I was away with the wife I went up to the Peak District with my mum and a couple of her friends from school. One of these friends has a daughter who's just a few years younger than me, and she is an awesome person! She's really clever and funny and good, and I love her company! So we stayed in the Peak district and visited Chatsworth House, where I found some amusing little novelty gifts for H, such as a campervan recipe book (!) and a book based on the telly programme Meerkat manor. I also found a coaster which made me laugh so much I just had to give it to her; and she knew why as soon as she saw it. It was a picture of some hills and there were a few sheep across the front - three pairs of sheep, in fact. And it said underneath 'double ewe double ewe double ewe'. I get that on its own that's just a bit of a corny joke and not that clever. But, having watched Gavin and Stacey about six months ago which the wife lent to me, all i could think when I heard that was of Uncle Bryn saying, 'And the best thing to do is to think of something to help remind you, like with me now, I think of "whiskey with water" which was my brother, God rest his soul, my brother's favourite drink.' And of course, since the wife has seen this too - and with it being a regular quote between the group - she got it straight away!

So I got her those little bits and I got for myself  a slightly ridiculous something:

Door knobs. Or knobs for something like that, anyway. Yes, go on, laugh like a little child, I still do in my head everything I hear the word 'knob'. Aren't they adorable, though, with their tiny buttons all over? They are really buttons, too, they're not painted on. I know I don't have a use for them just now, but I got a pair of each and I'm sure that at some point in the future I will find myself wanting super awesome handles, either for a door or a drawer or a something. And then I will be glad to have them. For now I'm keeping them in a drawer, waiting for their useful time to come But I knew I'd regret it if I didn't buy them. So I bought them!

I also bought a swirly necklace which is very pretty:

And we bought a bakewell pudding, which was very underwhelming.

It was a lovely weekend - the cottage we stayed in was delightful, but freezing and a little small. There was nowhere I could go and get some privacy really, and I value my time to myself a lot. But I did enjoy it despite that, and we arranged to have the other girl, I, come up to us and spend a week, which she did last week.

So yeah, I was up last week, and she made lots of patchwork squares for a quilt for her bed. They were really pretty! She did applique squares rather than piecing, and she did some with just a big flower in the middle in white on a pattern background, and she did some which were four hearts coming out from the middle in patterned fabric on a white background. We also baked Viennese fingers, which were nice, and pecan cookies which are to die for and do not last at all. I've made them twice since she left and eaten them all in a few days! We were going to go to Manchester for a day when we needed to get her brother's cricket stuff to him at the station anyway, but then he was so late that there was no time for us to go to Manchester. But otherwise it was lovely.

And the same time that I left, the wife came down for a brief visit. At some point over the week I had managed to get it into my head that I'd bummed her off somehow and she was in a mood with me. I don't know why I thought that, but I was absolutely convinced. And so when she invited everyone round on the Sunday, I didn't know whether to go or not because I didn't want to annoy her any more than I thought I already had. But it was all alright in the end, because at some point I managed to realise that she wasn't in a mood with me and that i was just a little bit crazy is all. And so I rang her and told her all about it and she just said that she wasn't in a mood with me and that her only problem was that she didn't know how to make things better so that I wouldn't convince myself of things like that randomly and without warning. But we went to the Trafford centre on the Monday, so it was okay really.

yeah, so we went to the Trafford centre on that Monday as part of a plot to cross a couple of things off the list - if you look at the list you will see that things have been crossed off! So we went to the Arcade in the Trafford Centre (who knew they had one of those!!) and we played on the Dance Mat and she beat me. In my defence, it was my first time, and there was a tiny baby that I could see a little way from my screen that was totally distracting! And then we went and played air hockey, and she won, but only just. it was on a drawer and she got the deciding point, is all. don't let her tell you differently. Another round and I would have beaten her! And then we did bowling, which I already knew I was atrocious at because, well, I am. And I kept insisting to her that I was really bad and that it wasn't the best idea, and then on my first round I got a strike! I think she was convinced after the next two rounds when I missed all of them! She was actually alright, she got quite a few spares and a couple of strikes too. In the end, my score was 69, at which she said I had clearly been aiming for that score because it was the rudest number I knew and typical of me! And then we did lots of window shopping and had a cuppa and came home. We did get a lot of funny looks because we were holding hands as we walked round, and she said that she'd seen a couple of people who looked like they were trying to work if we were lesbians. Meh. It didn't really bother me. As far as I'm concerned it's just like holding my mum's hand. But H is my wife I guess, so...!

So yeah! This week I started my childminding job, which is serious fun! I can't believe I'm being paid to do it! It's a lovely job to have, it really is. I've had a few issues getting there in the morning, but that seems to be working itself out now, so no worries! And aside from that, I have no more news - I'm done!

Oh wait, no I'm not. I'm also doing NaNoWriMo this year, and so far it's going awesomely. It's very easy to write, I think because I'm using a lot of what I know already and my own experience to write it, and I usually find that easier.

So today I'm going to write a letter in response to my sister, post that and the letter to my brother, and get my word count for today. i try to do 2000 words a day, to help ensure that I'll hit my target and to tide me over if I don't manage to do any on the days when I child mind. They are long days, after all, and I'm usually in bed very early on them! I've just received a package from Joe Browns, so I'm going to go for now and open that parcel!

Love love xx

Quilt, childminding, rant

So I promised I would go into a few more details on making that awesome mammoth quilt for H, and I will, right now!


So it was born from my determination to create something for the wife to take to uni that involved lots of photos of some of the loveliest times we'd spent together. This felt particularly important to me, because she often creates beautiful memory books or collages of photos for people which have huge sentimental value, and I felt it was about time she had one. Also, I wanted to give her a present that really meant something. I already had the few little bits for her - clear nail polish; a book containing the word 'akimbo'; a tin full of carrot cupcakes (the recipe for which will be posted on here at some point); and some new socks. But all these bits, whilst having meaning, weren't really a big deal. And I wanted something lasting that she could keep with photos of us from some of the happiest moments. I'm such a sentimental flannel, aren't I? I wanted it to be different to the things she always did for people, though, because it wasn't about just copying her thoughtfulness, it was about showing her how much I cared. And, since I had such a big pile of sewing to do yet, it made sense to plonk a huge project at the top of the pile and give myself just four weeks in which to do it!

At first I thought I would have to order fabric printed with the pictures on it, since I had tried printing onto fabric and found that whilst it worked fine, it washed straight out. But when I looked at the cost of ordering the fabric to be done for me, it was ridiculous. To get different photos it looked like it was going to cost me 40p per cm, and I wanted pictures of different sizes, some as big as 6 inches square.

One of the 6 inch squares

Then I found this product that lot of blogs seemed to refer to when printing pictures onto fabric at home, Bubble Jet Set. So I order some and gave it a go, following the instructions on the bottle and advice from various blogs and websites that had experimented with it. It basically involved soaking your fabric in the Bubble Jet Set, allowing it to dry and then ironing it onto freezer paper and feeding it through a inkjet printer. Once you'd done that it needed hand washing to set the inks completely, and you had your pictures. I was actually really impressed with how it came out; it was just like fabric to the touch, soft, pliable, and the pictures looked really good, especially for something done at home.

I experimented with colours in the pictures to make sure they looked their best once they went onto fabric. This involved doing sheets with tiny versions of the pictures on to ensure they would look their best when I printed them in full size. I'd already done all of my setting squares and made the rest of the squares as far as I could without the pictures, which was just as well, because the process of getting the pictures onto fabric took quite a while. I did a few at a time to get it done faster, but it was the most time consuming part of it. I was very aware that I had a deadline, although i finished it about 10 days in advance of the deadline, which was brilliant.

I tried to vary the sizes of the photos and the way they looked to keep it interesting!

 I made the back from 3 colours: the brown of the setting squares, the cream for the background, and one of the teal shades. I then used teal thread and created a label for the back at my mum's suggestion. It simply said whom it was for and the date that it was made.I think it worked out pretty well, even if it was a little wonky in places!

  I then quilted it all together, and created a binding for the edge from some of the fabrics I'd used in the main part of the quilt, randomly mixed up. I did a decorative wave to sew the binding into place, because it's a safer option than trying to do invisible stitching with a machine. I chose the wave because I'd already used it in quilting on the border of the quilt, as well as some little hearts down the sides. And with that, it was done!

It meant a lot to me to do it myself for her, and put the work in. my mum kindly offered to help out, because it was a lot to do in four weeks, and we were both aware that I hadn't made any quilts before at all (!) but I told her that I wanted to do as much of it myself as possible. It was my work that had to go into, my love. And I achieved what I wanted to: I made a quilt that I felt was incredibly meaningful, at least to me, and every stitch that went into it was done by me, every part of it was done by me, right down to sandwiching the layers together and the ironing of every seam, even all the hand washing of the photo fabric! It truly was a labour of love.

The colour of the water after every hand wash

So that is the epic saga secret of my first quilt!

Other news I have is of the childminding I did. I enjoyed it immensely, and I managed fine the second week on my own, although i missed H a bit during nap time, when in the first week we had joked around and read aloud from books and just generally frolicked in our usual way. But the lovely couple I was childminding for really surprised me. I was aware that I was childminding for them because they had recently got a new childminder but she was on holiday almost straight away, which was when I was filling in. but the lovely couple said that the children had been so happy with me looking after them, and that the couple had been so pleased with the arrangement that they would like me to continue childminding for them for the rest of the academic year!! How about that! I naturally said 'YES!!!' and so they have just given the new childminder four week's notice, which means that in four weeks I start a new wonderful job looking after two beautiful children!! I can't wait, although it probably means that I'll have to leave my current job at Currys. But I don't mind, because the childminding will be more enjoyable, more fulfilling, and more valuable to me come next September! So yeah! Though I never expected it, I'm absolutely overjoyed at how that's panning out so far!

My last point today is a bit of a rant. I was out shopping with my dad this evening, just for groceries, you know, and he loaded the shopping into the car and I took the trolley back. The trolley bank was a bit messy, with trolleys not slotted into each other and taking up a lot of space, so I naturally sorted them and tidied them and slotted our trolley in and left it looking neat. About ten seconds after I'd done so, we were pulling out of our spot and a lady nearby took her trolley to the bank, seemed to be pushing it neatly into place, then left it unpushed in. What on earth!! She made it messy again all for the sake of saving two steps forward!! I do not understand! I had literally just tidied it up, it would have been no extra effort to put her trolley in neatly, but no, she was too lazy to take the two steps it would have taken to put her trolley in neatly! How rude! If there's one thing I cannot stand it's people who do not put their trolleys back where they belong neatly. It is unbelievably rude to just abandon your trolley, be that right where you parked int he middle of the car park, or at an angle in the trolley bank. It just shows laziness and ignorance and a lack of courtesy for anyone else. It's actually selfish in my mind. I had just made the effort, right in front of her, to sort the trolleys out and line them up again, and she had just made my work completely pointless. An adult woman, mark you, because adults are generally the ones doing the shopping that requires a trolley. How can they expect children to have good behaviour when they don't themselves? And how dare they complain about young people's behaviour when their own is so bad! It actually makes me really angry, because it is plain and simple rude. And because it's a rudeness and a laziness over something tiny! It takes almost no extra effort to do the right thing in this, and yet people still don't. It just really irks me is all!

That's all for tonight!

Love love xx