So this time, there is a wonderful reason for my absence - the family computer wasn't behaving. It worked, except for blogger, which wouldn't run at all.
So - my life at the moment. Well, there's childminding, which is going awesomely as per usual. BB is pushing her boundaries at the moment, trying to find a way to get away with naughty stuff. Not like, really naughty, more like defying me when I tell her not to jump up and down on that chair because she will fall off and then scream for five minutes. So we have a naughty step, which is weirdly... I don't even know. She goes on it for two minutes, cries unendingly for the first one and is just sat there when I go to speak to her. She says sorry, hugs me and tells me she loves me which makes my heart melt because I just punished her, then she laughs and says she won't do that naughty thing again. And ten minutes later, she's forgotten all about it being a naughty thing and is doing it all over again. nor surprising for her age, I guess. Distracting her from the naughty action tends to work best. We've also learnt how to not cry for too long by taking deep breaths. So she falls over, bangs her head and immediately starts scream-crying. So I tell her to take a deep breath, and demonstrate. She laughs at this, copies it, and all is well. Ten minutes later she falls over again, and we do it all over again. Sometimes when I say no to her, she does a really funny sulk. She doesn't tantrum at the word no. Instead she lies down on the floor, face down and pushes her bottom lip out. I ignore this. It's no fun to her when she can't see me looking at her. She only tantrums when she's trying to do something herself and it isn't working. Then she sits on the floor and pedals her legs a bit, before bringing it to me with a 'make work pwease!' It's adorable. And another negative behaviour to manage.
So yeah, yesterday she made her own lunch. It was really fun. I gave her the option of baked beans or sandwiches, and she chose sandwiches. So she got her plastic knife, and a plate with a slice of bread on it, and the carton of spread. The knife went into it vertically, twisted round and dug a tiny amount out which she then proceeded to bury somewhere inside the slice of bread whilst I spread a little more onto the slice. Same with cream cheese. Awesome. Ah well, it's the thought that counts!
We're in the middle of potty-training at the moment too, which is difficult because it's so cold that we can't take a simple route. If it were summer, we could just leave her bottom half reasonably uncovered and the potties out, and things would... I dunno. Happen. But it's too cold for that. So instead we're playing games with the dolls using the potties, and suggesting trying to use it every so often. She's drinking a lot, so she can usually wee in there. Poos? Not so much. She gets really stressed about doing them in her nappy too, because she hates having a pooey bottom. But, even though she knows when she's pooing, she won't sit down on the potty to do it. We got a poo in the potty once. I never thought I'd be so happy to be handed a bucket of poo. Yesterday she had a green poo. No kidding, green as grass. And it stank. I don't know what she ate, but it was so wrong! Sorry. This is not what I was going to talk about!
On Wednesday the school striked, O I had B with me all day as well as BB. So we decided to go to Manchester and visit the Christmas Market - I mentioned I went with a friend the other week, and it was seriously magical. So I thought it would be fun for the girls to see it. And since I had both of them, it felt like a good time, even though it was a little early for Christmas. It took us a while to get there - the train station is right behind their house, so we were at the train station in under five minutes; but the first train that arrived was so packed it wouldn't let anybody get on. So I had to wait at the train station for half an hour with B and BB to occupy. Thankfully we had a packed lunch with us, as they're lactose intolerant. So they had their morning snack and that got them through to the next train, which was also packed to be fair but not as much. Having two young children on a train is insanely stressful. They're not even mine. How do I explain losing/killing their children by accident on a train to their mum? But we survived, they loved the market, and we went home and watched Madagascar after BB finished her nap. Success!
So other than childminding, I completed NaNoWriMo - yay! It was a relief to complete it and feel like a winner. Or rather, not to feel like a loser or failure as I would have done if I had either not done it or cheated to get the winner page. No. Doing it the honest way and knowing you did it is fiercely awesome and motivating. I finished two days before the deadline, and wrote 16000 words on that final completion day. Yeah. Most of them are probably rubbish. But - I did it anyway. So it's okay.
I also did a post for the Band, which was really good for me. I'm glad I did it. No, I'm not gonna say which is my post. there are many posts, and many topics I could post on. One of the posts is mine. But the whole website is really good. It's a website for people with all different kinds of crazy and brokenness to feel that they are not alone. The love that comes from it is amazing.
I've written a few letters also. Mainly responding to letters I received, but I also wrote a letter to IB. I realise I referred to her as I in a past post, which I only now realise is confusing, stupid child that I am. So now she's IB, which will mean no more confusing it with myself doing stuff. Sorry - yeah, I wrote a letter to her. and she responded. I need to write back to her. I know my brother wrote a letter to me at some point, but it hasn't turned up. Thanks a lot for that, Royal Mail. It really sucks that they just cannot get letters to arrive. I've even lost packages before that I've sent to people. Look, I know this is the age of computers, but snail mail has been happening for centuries. Get it together now, come on.
I wrote before about a friend who had a dilemma about a guy. Well, she said no. She felt it was best, and agreed that she needed to set boundaries in her friendship with him so that they wouldn't keep having encounters. And she has since seen him, and told him, and touched on there being boundaries but not really set any. Ah well. I felt lighter in knowing her decision, although I think I would have been relieved to know the decision even if it wasn't what I'd hoped for. As it is, I'm pleased as well. Yes, partly in a selfish way probably. I wanted things to work out int he best possible way for me. But I'm also glad because I feel this is the less painful way for her, too. They're still friends, and that I'm unsure of. But I'm glad that she won't get hurt by dating him a third time. I don't know. Life is so difficult!!
Surgery is all healed - the stitches came out really quickly, and no more bleeding now. I'm looking forward very much to having it all finished. I might have to have a few more injections which will be horrible (because of the amount of injections and surgeries I've had, my mouth is hyper-sensitive, as my dentist says, which explains why the injections hurt so much), but with a little luck all will be over in a couple of months' time.
Not much else to add now. I know I've talked a lot. Oh! I dyed my hair again.It's really dark, with a hint of red. The roots look slightly purple, too. It's not what I planned. It's not what I expected. I love it!
Love love xx
PS. It amuses me that the word 'blogger' is not in the spell check dictionary on this thing!