Ugh. It is, officially, one week until my A-level exams. One week until I have to do two philosophy papers which I know if I took them right now I would not be able to do. I am bricking it. I really don't like philosophy any more; this year has been confusing and exhausting and I wish I'd continued studying politics instead. I know, I know, I'm lucky, because I only have 3 exams whilst other people have insane amounts like 6, and I'm lucky to have an education at all when there are poor unfortunate people all across the world who don't have one because they can't afford it or they've been forgotten by their communities or they have problems which seem unfixable. But still. Philosophy is the bane of my life. Right now it's like a big ugly slug-like monster sitting in front of me, and I want to just edge past it and pretend it's not really there, but if I do that it's gonna get me when I'm almost through. I can't focus properly either, I start to look at my revision, and that gets me to the thinking of, oh shit. I'm so going to fail this subject type thoughts, which really aren't constructive and make me sad.
So today, though I looked at a couple of sheets of philosophy earlier, I made the wonderful decision to make bread instead. And not just any bread, oh no. I made sun dried tomato and basil bread. It's fiercely yummy, and I love the smell of it. It didn't occur without hiccups, of course. I've been feeling a little absent from my own head recently, and I forgot to put the paddle in the machine, so when I first started it, it was 10 minutes before I wondered why nothing was being stirred together. Also, I forgot to put the tomatoes in at first, so the had to be flicked in on top in a last-minute panic moment. But, despite these slight hiccups, the bread is good. It's kinda orangey-red in colour, and has lumps of sun dried tomato in it. Here's a picture:
See how yummy it looks? Well, it tastes super good too! I really enjoy making bread, it's a lovely activity, not challenging, it doesn't take up much time actively, although you have to be there for when it beeps, and it's easy to get something that looks and tastes good at the end, even if it's not perfect.
Speaking of which, I'm quite tempted by the thought of focaccia. A blog I follow recently posted about some vegan focaccia they made which didn't turn out as they expected. And this does intrigue me, and I do kinda wanna try making it myself. I think maybe I follow a few too many food-related blogs, I get terrible cravings for lots of food. My head is rather focused on food at the moment, in fact. But anyway, focaccia. Yeah. I've been looking around for some basic recipes which look easy, and though I've found a few, they do just sound like normal bread to me. So I don't really understand what makes them focaccia rather than just 'standard loaf of bread in an unusual shape'.
But back to what I've been up to personally - and, well, I made redcurrant jelly! With my mum of course. It was really fun and cool to watch; and you know, making jams and jellies really isn't difficult. I may have to make much more as time goes by this year. I am feeling a self-made year coming along. It could be fun, actually. See how many bought things you can swap for homemade over the course of a year, and evaluate whether they're worth it or not. I may just do this. But my redcurrant jelly is looking lovely, I am proud of myself, though I know that's a sin:
Mmhmmn, check out that bad boy! The thing I love about making the jelly is how when it works, like this, you can hold it up to the light and see through it. The transparency of it never fails to astound me. Plus, the colour of it when you're looking at light through it, is incredible. It's like treasure.
I really do have a major interest in food at the moment. I'm like a toddler. You know, when you give them a new food and they have to feel it and taste it and smell it and chew it a bit and see what it's like after chewing and generally play with it, rub it through their hair and so on? Yeah. Well, aside from the rubbing through my hair type stuff, I am enjoying my food in much the same way that they enjoy it. It's exciting trying new things out, finding out if I can bite into it or if it has to be cut, finding out if cutting it affects the flavour, and finding out whether my compromised sense of smell affects the flavour (which it does with some foods, where they just don't taste as much as they used to). I've been particularly interested in liquid type foods, because naturally they go down easily. So I've been playing around with various ingredients in smoothies, like soy milk - which, by the way, goes in really well - and freezing different fruit juices. And of course in my rampage of freezing everything I can lay my hands on, I've become fiercely interested in homemade ice cream. There are a few places where they have ice cream recipes I'm really interested in, but a flavour I am intrigued by the possibility of is coconut. I saw that the vegan recipe there in the second link uses coconut milk in it. But I wonder about making an ice cream that's coconut flavour too, you know? You could use coconut milk, and coconut shavings, all sorts since coconut comes in so many different forms. For example, I use coconut oil to oil the ends of my hair. This does have my attention at the moment. I may have to experiment. Although I'm not quite sure about the freezing part of recipes since we don't have an ice cream maker. But yeah.
I'm going to stop now, since I'm working, and have chunnered on for far too long. My last thought is that I've been reading some new books recently which I borrowed from a wonderful friend. I had forgotten how exciting it is to read a new book, not knowing what's going to happen yet. I enjoy re-reading books because you can appreciate clues and subtleties that lead up to major story plots. But new books are magical in their own way-!
Love love xx